I don't know if it is a question or a complaint. Am I being used?

When I moved in with my honey, now my husband of 3 1/2 yrs. he was "tight" about money and rightfully so since he is disabled and lived on his disability check. There was enough however to live fairly comfortable.

But, when we would go to a store I felt as though I was a child being led by the hand and that I should not look or glance at anything. If I did wonder off to just look, he had to see what I was looking at.

He did not want me to work since I have fibromyalgia and arthritis too but right before we got married he wanted me to sell my new pick up. I did and gave him a portion of that and spend most of the rest on groceries and such.

Almost right after we married he began hounding me to file for my disability. I refused at that time as I still thought I could go to work. Although to appease him I did not.

Now I am 62 and getting my regular Social Security. He thinks I should contribute so much a month to the budget, which I do not find unreasonable. HOWEVER, what I do find unreasonable is that we had to borrow about $4000. out of his savings to help with expenses, sometimes for his hunting license, some for groceries and things he felt we needed.

Now he not only wants me to contribute monthly, he also says since he does not have antother check, I should pay ALL the savings back. Hey, he eats about 3 or 4 times the food I do. Why should I pay for all the savings used?

This has become a huge issue. If I contribute $200. month to household and pay back $200. a month for his savings, then I have about $100. left. My family lives 2500 miles from us and I would like to be able to save for plane tickets to see them now and then. Plus I would like to have a few clothes and things for myself.

What do you think, am I being used. I feel sometimes like he only married me to do housework and cooking and wanted the additional income he thought I could generate. I have filed for disability lately and if I get it that will be more then my regular S.S.

He also says if we can't get along and split he won't help me financially, his disability is over 3 times what I get.

Now I have NO vehicle, and only $525. month so I couldn't leave if I wanted to.

He has not put my name on one thing he owns.
By Sassysmom 10 years ago :: Marriage
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
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