My roommate and I had a fight, should I forgive her?

So my roommate and I were best friends; We did everything together. Then last year I started dating my boyfriend and she felt very left out. I tried my hardest to make her comfortable around the situation and would even ditch my new bf to stay home with her all of the time.

Then a couple of months later she started dating some guy and they hit it off instantly. I was so excited that we both had boyfriends and I tried to plan tons of stuff for the 4 of us to do together. We never hung out. She would only go out with his friends. Sometimes she would invite me, but they would never EVER come to anything I invited them too.

6 months into their relationship he cheated on her. She was heart-borken but decided to forgive him. I never quite got over it. As time went on she would throw her relationship in my face, constantly talking about how perfect he was... But we would watch stuff on TV and she would always talk about how horrible cheating is and how she can't stand it.
Also, whenever she gets stressed out she doesn't eat so I am constantly worryign about whether she's eating or not. Anyways, it got so bad that she stopped coming home ever. She might only stop by to take a shower or get her things. Then she started asking me to fill out her rent checks for her becasue she couldn't come home for 10 minutes.

Eventually I needed a favor from her and although she said she would do it, I knew she didn't want to. Later I find out she never did it and made me look like a jerk. When I asked her why she told me she was digging through her bf's email to find he'd been cheating again. When she decided to forgive him, I decided to move out. I told her I couldn't handle living with all of this stress and drama only to be treated like a worthless throw-away friend. She told me I was acting like a high schooler.

Now we don't live together and we've stopped speaking. I am happy to be rid of her drama but I am still hurt. I'm wondering if I should make an effort to forgive her -- not be friends again, but forgive at least. I'm bound to run into her from time to time as well.

Also, I told her how much I hated her bf (he's also really loud and rude and annoying) and blamed him for ruining our friendship. I feel bad about that and wonder if I should apologize to him for getting mad at him when I should have just been mad at her.
By lladi 9 years ago :: Roommates
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $1.99/minute
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
  • View More Experts