Who moves in a long distance relationship?

My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I live in Hawaii and he lives in Utah. He is busting tail to get his business launched and wants me to come there to assist him with the skills I have to help launch it. I am 100% behind his business, and want to be a part of it. The problem is that he wants me to move there ASAP without a job lined up. I on the other hand, want to have some sort of income to help sustain myself. Jobs are hard to come by there, and he is offering to sustain both of us for a month or two. The problem is, he is collecting unemployment, and doesn't have a steady income to provide for both of us. He is upset that I don't just 'make the leap' and move there on faith. I know he wants to provide, but I don't feel comfortable relying solely on him. I have very large student loan debt and refuse to lay that on anyone but myself. I feel I am acting like a responsible adult by insisting I have a job lined up before I move there. He feels I am not trusting him to provide and constantly reminds me that our goal is to just be together. Help! P.S. I have a 75,000/year job right now and have offered him the same thing, ie: he comes to Hawaii, lives rent free so that he can devote his time to launch his business. He'd rather be in Utah because of the contacts he as already established. What to do, what to do!!??
By Alawha 10 years ago :: Dating
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
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    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
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