My Boyfriend has been given the option to live in his grandmother's place rent free, Should I move with him?

My boyfriend's grandmother has gone into a hostel, and she doesn't want sell her house nor does she want it to remain empty or with strangers in it. His family is asking for us to move into the house and only pay the essential costs (electricity/gas, rates, and water). And they are wanting an answer quite quickly.

We have been together getting close to three years, and lived together for the majority of that time - we have also moved once together. So this would be the third place we live in together.

My background: I have moved around a lot, I moved states when I was 12, my parents divorced when I was about 16 - so another move, then left home around 18 (stayed in the same area) but moved around a number of suburbs there. I then moved out to a different region to be closer to uni (rather than the 50mins drive each way), I then met my boyfriend and moved to a nearby city where he lived, as there are limited job opportunities in that city, we both got jobs in the original city and then moved to a suburb that was still a close-ish drive (45mins) to his family and friends, and my friends that I made while living there, which is where we currently are.

My boyfriend's background: He has only lived in the house he grew up in and the two places we have lived together.

We want to be able to buy a house in the next few years (this timeline has changed a number of times - but that’s a different story), which means a guaranteed other move.

We currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment, with not much storage.

Positives for the Move:
We get an extra $300-400 per week in our bank accounts, to save for a house deposit or spend of toys or for holidays.
Having a 3 bedroom house, with furniture we can pick and choose between and plenty of storage.
One of my best friends is moving to a nearby suburb.
The location is approx. the same distance to our work places to where we are currently

Disadvantages for the Move:
The location is a distance from his family and friends
I'm trying to build some stability in my life; this will throw my life up in the air, twice.
I’ve had to build up a new friend base of which I will have to give up with this move.
I’m not too keen on the area, I might be a bit snobbish, but it’s not the best area.

There are probably more things I could put under both, but it gives you an idea. Now the confusion I have is that, he asked me whether I want this to happen after he made his mind that he wants to go. Now, I’m not sure whether I am leaning towards No, because he is pushing me for an answer and not working out the decision with me (this is an issue, of which we are getting help on) or because it’s really not the right thing for us or me.

So my question is this – should I do this move, and work on the decision issue while over there or wait until we have worked out the decision issue before giving him my answer or not agree to move, and that possibly mean the end of our relationship (he hasn’t given me an ultimatum, but I can see what will happen).
By KimC 9 years ago :: Dating
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
       4.93/5
  • Iain A. Morrison
    MA Psych Cert Ed.
    Loving attachment is probably the greatest source of our happiness - I can help if it is going wrong - or manage the hurt if its over $2.00/minute
       4.82/5
  • View More Experts
    9