This is embaracing and a real honest question! My husband and I have different libidos. help please!!!

OK this is a tough one, my husband and I met and fell in love and were not very physical before we married. we have been together for about4 years now and we have major sexual issues.
He penis is very large. Abnormally large in length and gurth. I have contacted my gyno, a therapist I have even taken prescription drugs similiar to viagra, but
Sex is painfull, my gyno has treated me for multiple infections due to rips and tears, bruised cervix and I'm fed up. She gave me numbing creme, cooling gel,lubricant, and told me to use an exspander once or twice a day (this doesn't exactly feel pleasurable either) we have quick bad sex in missionary positions maybe 4 times a year and it's just awefull. he gets angry claiming that i use sex as a power trip. I made him talk to my obgyn and now after that conversation his self esteem has plummeted. He has admitted he has had problems in th epast with the size of his penis. we have tried everything to make it work including conseling but haveing to plan sex days in advance, stretch my vagina, apply numbing creme to my cervix, and fill myself with lube, is so short of romance, it's not fun, it's a hassle. I don't ever orgasm anymore unless it's with a toy and have resigned myself to a sexless marriage. He on the other hand has angry outbursts and scremes and yells at me for de-masculating him, or he grabbs at me in the morning and asks are we gonna have sex, are we gonn ahave sex, plus he constantly researches stats on how many times a week married couples our age have sex, saying that I'm messed up and I'm not normal. the yelling and screeming doesn't turn me on. I am tempted to bring up haveing an open relationship so we can be happy in the bedroom. I miss romantic intimate good long sex without all the bs tasks I have to do before we have it, and I know he wants penetration at least 3 times a week, this aside from blowjobs ect...
So what now?? We are a horrible match in the sack and we are married? I can't talk to anyone about this because it's embaracing! I find myself thinking about what fun it was when I was with other men and I can't fualt him for telling me how wonderfull it was to be with other woman. any advice is appreciated, I already contacted professionals so now I'm asking the general public, thanks
By beckstar 9 years ago :: Marriage
  • Wendy Comen
    Psychologist-LPA
    Whether its sexual, deciding to break up or determining if he/she really is interested, I ask question that help reveal answers so you can in turn make better judgements. $2.32/minute
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  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
       4.84/5
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