This one's not quite so bad - Just wondering if I should be okay with it or not.

I have had some rough drama between my boyfriend's last ex and him..I never really spoke to her since she lives in a different state and it really wasn't my place anyway. But that's a completely different story - and he no longer talks to her through any media.
But it sort of explains why I am a bit weary about this, to begin with. My boyfriend's very first girlfriend ever - he's only had three including me - he is still friends with. (The one we had drama with was the second) Well, about two weeks ago I saw a conversation between my boyfriend and her on Msn Messenger (Let's call her May) and I got very angry because I felt they were being innaproppriate and I was really shocked to see that happening again. Now..later on I did feel as though I overreacted and we talked about it - I apologized and explained how it made me feel. But his solution was to just completely delete her off his friends list and never talk to her again. (She lives in this state, not too far away, but he has only seen her once since we met four months ago). He has always been completely open and honest about everything - and he ws the one who showed me that conversation. It upset me because she was being flirty with him, and joking about how he would like it if she stalked him, blah blah blah and was inviting him to go climb some mountain with her?? Anyway, it just seemed to me she shouldn't be talking that way especially since they used to go out.
I am not asking him to stop being friends with her. And I even went to him and said he didn't have to stop talking to her..just ask her to not flirt with him. (There were some other things said that bothered me but I won't get into it) All this comes to is ..I just want to know if I should even have a problem with it. Based on his past - he has a hard time letting go - do you think he still has any unresolved feelings about her, and vice versa? I am certain she still likes him...and if they both have some feelings left over for each other.. it would just always make me feel uncomfortable the two of them hanging out. I don't think he would hurt me, but I don't want to live with the worry about whether she is hanging all ove rhim or saying crap about me or what-have-you.
Sorry if this seems really silly to any of you. I am asking because it truly does help me to get other perspectives. I've been hurt a lot in the past and I know I tend to let that color my feelings sometimes and cause undue jealousy..so I just need to know if this is my past talking.. or my gut and I should listen to it. Thanks in advance for all your help and advice :0 )
By Bamvytar 9 years ago :: Bitter Ex
  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
       4.84/5
  • Rafael Richman
    Ph.D.
    Are you feeling stuck, trapped in the same patterns that repeat over & over? Are you feeling angry, alone, unappreciated & unheard? I can help you. $2.85/minute
       4.84/5
  • View More Experts
    3