Was it even MY place to say anything?
I have this male friend, Mike, who I dated for several years back in high school (01 graduate). We've taken extensive "breaks" here and there in our friendship. Like right after we broke up in '01/'02 (can't totally remember now!) we didn't exactly hang out every weekend. However, since then, we've tried to be friends. We've had our ups and downs, obviously. His/my faults and whose are worse are an entirely different post for another day. Today is about his friend Jeff.
Mike and I have a tendency to argue slightly more than average. I know this is a problem. My issue is that when Mike and I start to argue, and Jeff is there, he'll jump into the fight. No matter how many times I ask him to please stay out of it, the same thing occurs every time and it's never constructive. Mike and I will be arguing about (for example*) what time he said he'd pick me up (I say 3, he says 5) and Jeff will jump in with how I am a manipulative bitch who lies about times.
I find the interjections inappropriate to begin with since they only serve to denigrate me, ever. But I also feel like it's not his place to jump in, even if his comment was along the lines of "actually, I heard him say 5..." because all that does it exacerbate the problem. Now, I'm fighting with Mike AND Jeff instead of resolving the issue with Jeff quickly and peacefully.
Am I wrong? Do you jump in when your friends argue? I'm so confused as recently I asked Jeff to stop doing that and he said no.
*made up example
Mike and I have a tendency to argue slightly more than average. I know this is a problem. My issue is that when Mike and I start to argue, and Jeff is there, he'll jump into the fight. No matter how many times I ask him to please stay out of it, the same thing occurs every time and it's never constructive. Mike and I will be arguing about (for example*) what time he said he'd pick me up (I say 3, he says 5) and Jeff will jump in with how I am a manipulative bitch who lies about times.
I find the interjections inappropriate to begin with since they only serve to denigrate me, ever. But I also feel like it's not his place to jump in, even if his comment was along the lines of "actually, I heard him say 5..." because all that does it exacerbate the problem. Now, I'm fighting with Mike AND Jeff instead of resolving the issue with Jeff quickly and peacefully.
Am I wrong? Do you jump in when your friends argue? I'm so confused as recently I asked Jeff to stop doing that and he said no.
*made up example
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