Should I stay or should I go?

My best friend from high school is getting married to one of my best friends from college. I introduced them and have been watching their relationship up and downs from the sidelines for the past 10 years. I am glad they are getting married, although I have to admint I am not sure that they are "the ones" for each other. Mainly I am glad because then I do not have to take sides if they broke up...

So the question is this--their wedding is this upcoming weekend. When they first announced that they were getting married, they made a big show about how our kids would defintely be welcome, as they are an integral part of our lives, and theirs. About 6 weeks ago, this changed and we found out (through the invite) that children were no longer invited to the reception. I got my mother to watch the kids for the time of the reception and thought we were done with the planning.

The wedding itself is in upstate NY, about a 6 hour drive from where we live. We have three small children--7, 5, and 2. The 7 and 5 year old will have to miss two days of school, soccer games, sunday school, and possibly a cub scout meeting. The dirve is always hard on them even with the DVD player because it is so long. This past week, my husband thought about it and took it personally that the kids were not invited to the reception. His stance is now that the kids should not be forced to go upstate because of the wedding where they will only be able to attend the wedding ceremony at the church and nothing else.

I am torn. On the one hand, I am also slightly offended that the position on the kids has changed, especially after they made such grandiose statements about including the kids. It hurts. On the other hand, I understand fully that it is their wedding and should be conducted the way they would like it to happen. But I don't want to be away from the family all weekend--four days--and the kids would be allowed to come to the rehearsal dinner and the Sunday brunch, as well as the wedding itself. And I would really like to be at the wedding with my husband.

Should the kids stay at home with daddy, or should the whole family go up and make the best of it?
By shansieg 9 years ago :: Friends
  • Robert Betancourt
    MA, Professional Counseling,Therapist
    Emotional Healing-25+ years experience in helping people find solutions that work. "one of the best therapists here" $2.49/minute
       4.93/5
  • Rafael Morales
    MA-MS, MHT-MHRS
    I have extensive training and expertise in clinical, counseling, transpersonal/integral psychology and coaching. I provide support to those willing to work on themselves… $2.75/minute
       4.84/5
  • View More Experts
    6