Accommodate The In Laws???

Side 1 says... I've been asking for Thanksgiving for a couple of years now. My husband, daughter and mother's birthdays are all a few days apart and all on or around Thanksgiving. My husband always celebrated his birthday on Thankgiving and I thought what an awesome tradition for his daughter to have. Basically would have a blast with 3 birthdays and Thanksgiving all in one! My family (my parents and sister) live about 1-1/2 hours away and they are willing to come to me for Thanksgiving so we can all celebrate together.

My in-laws , on the other hand, refuse to come to my house for Thanksgiving because I will not invite their friends and do things their way. I have extended the invitation to my husband's extended family (aunt, uncle and cousins with their husbands) for the sake of my in-laws, but I feel I shouldn't have to invie my in-laws' friends to my new family event. With that said, my mother in law (not my father in law) refuses to come to my house. [My father-in-law is completely ok with it!]

So the question I am posing with now is, should I accommodate the in-laws with a separate birthday party just for them to come or should I be stubborn and tell them that they basically chose their friends over their granddaughter?

I feel if I give them a different party, then they will never want to come to our house for Thanksgiving becuase I would still be catering to their needs.