How do you create a new life at 55?

I'm a 55 y.o. white woman, helping professional, hardworking, self-supporting with grown kids (who don't give me the time of day), and a few women friends who are all coupled and I only see them a few times a year for lunch. I've tried the on-line dating thing (met a lot of married men!), been "fixed up", gone to therapy (he says to change religion and go to diff. churches), got an executive coach (he says work a 2nd job in a place with lots of people), etc. I can't have pets, don't hike, and really feel like I"m dying of loneliness and invisibility. A friendship with someone who wants to go out and do things would be nice as well. But, now that you've read this, you understand those problems. I'm a young "55", but my life feels older; might as well be "95"