My fiancee's daughter has been abusive and disrespectful and now claims I am over reacting. Am I?

When my fiancee informed his kids that we were getting married, his daughter said I was not welcome in her home, that I couldnt take his last name, that I would never be family and that if he married me, she would never speak to him again. He is currently living in my home because he had loaned his kids so much money he needs to declare bankruptcy.

Recently, his daughter sent him a photos of her family (her, husband and son) but only addressed it to him. When she calls, on his cell she never asks to speak to me. Now she is pregnant and he has expressed that we are going to NY to meet my family for Christmas and she is asking him constantly to go see them for christmas. He visited them in March and spent a week.

I feel she is being manipulative and silently being disrespectful (by addressing the framed photos only to him) while continuing to only acknowlege him and pretend I dont exist.

She claimed I am over reacting.