How do I accept a irresponsible husband with out loosing my own dignity?

My husband of 6 years, doesn't take the initiative to get things done in a timely manner, everything is on the back burner. This causes to much conflict as things build up and makes me feel like it is my responsibility or it won't get done. This exhausts me to my witts end and I complain and nag him about these things until an argument begins. FInallly after a 3 day argument he may start doing some things but by that time more things have built up and aren't getting done. I hate this. At times I feel I will leave him. He is a hot tempered person, and sometime physically abusive , I can be verbally abusive to him during these fights. What shall I do. We are over 55 years old and this has to stop.