Why am I bad and he is the perfect boyfriend, for doing exactly what he did to me, but in a lessor amount?
We have been dating for almost 2 years. My entire life I've had problems with me accomplishing giant achievments and never getting recognition. I was always invisible and ignored, so it is a pet peeve of mine now that I am older. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who will treat me like that.
Last Saturday we went to a party. He is in college, I work full time. I am 2 years younger than he is. He drinks, I do not. He was playing beer pong with someone else on his team. Whenever asking me to play (I'll drink water or pop with mine) he always makes me go with another person and he chooses another girl to be on his team. If two guys want to play in addition to us, he has me on his team. But when there are other girls playing he is on their team and wants me to be on the other team. (Which never was a problem with me, but now seems sorta fishy)
I was sitting next to it watching. He got very into it. He went to smack the ball out of the way and he hit his beer bottle and beer got all over me. I gasped and was making obvious signs that I was drenched (I hate the smell of beer, so it wasn't fun). He reached over me, bent down, picked up his bottle, shoved it in my face and said "hold this" while not even looking at me, but looking at the beer pong table. Over 5 minutes passed. I kept giving him the evil stare, hoping he would realize what he had done. Waiting for him to apologize. I finally asked "You have nothing to say?" And he said "What?" In an annoyed and angry tone. I said "You spilled your beer on me and didn't apologize" and he said "Fine, sorry." again in an angry tone, continuing with his game and not even looking at me.
When the game was over he started walking away with the girl he was playing with (just happens to be a girl who he tried to sleep with one time when he got really drunk, shortly before he met me). Since he didn't rightfully apologize or do the curteous thing and ask if I was okay, I told him to come back, I threw my cup of water on him (about the same amount of his beer spilled on me) and he got angry and turned away. I said "Wait, come back." and he did and I said "Hold this." I did all of that to do exactly what he did to me. Not apologize. Not notice. Not care. I was a boiling pot ready to blow waiting all that time for him to notice what he had done. I wasn't angry about him spilling his beer on me. I was angry that he said "hold this" and walked away from me at the end of the game, not even caring about me for a second. (btw- I'm underage, so if cops were to come in, they would smell beer on me and I would be put in jail without any questions. Even though I don't drink at all. So that adds to the anger as well)
He then went over to his "friends" and started twisting it and I heard him say that he did nothing and that I threw it on him for no reason. So he started yelling at me telling me that his friends told him I'm crazy. But then again when they left, the two girls hugged me and said goodbye and that they hope we work it out because he was wrong.
His friends and him say he is the victim. I want to know why it's okay if he did it to me, but not when I do it to him. Note, that in the past I was lying in my room with a migraine, and he came in screaming his head off at me, and poured his beer all over me. While the just under 2 year relationship, he has gotten beer on me 3 times. 2 possibly accidental, but no apologies or even noticing. And once on purpose because I put the dirty dishes in the sink instead of on the counter like he wants. And he has a recent charge with the police for Disorderly Conduct for throwing dishes at me and pouring beer on me for that incident, with the intent to harm me.
Obviously there is more background to this and this incidient was bringing up problems similar to this in the past. But I want to know who's wrong. If he would have just stopped the game then and there and said "Oh baby, I'm so sorry, here, let me help you clean up" or show any compassion whatsoever, then I would have been fine and the party would have been great.
Last Saturday we went to a party. He is in college, I work full time. I am 2 years younger than he is. He drinks, I do not. He was playing beer pong with someone else on his team. Whenever asking me to play (I'll drink water or pop with mine) he always makes me go with another person and he chooses another girl to be on his team. If two guys want to play in addition to us, he has me on his team. But when there are other girls playing he is on their team and wants me to be on the other team. (Which never was a problem with me, but now seems sorta fishy)
I was sitting next to it watching. He got very into it. He went to smack the ball out of the way and he hit his beer bottle and beer got all over me. I gasped and was making obvious signs that I was drenched (I hate the smell of beer, so it wasn't fun). He reached over me, bent down, picked up his bottle, shoved it in my face and said "hold this" while not even looking at me, but looking at the beer pong table. Over 5 minutes passed. I kept giving him the evil stare, hoping he would realize what he had done. Waiting for him to apologize. I finally asked "You have nothing to say?" And he said "What?" In an annoyed and angry tone. I said "You spilled your beer on me and didn't apologize" and he said "Fine, sorry." again in an angry tone, continuing with his game and not even looking at me.
When the game was over he started walking away with the girl he was playing with (just happens to be a girl who he tried to sleep with one time when he got really drunk, shortly before he met me). Since he didn't rightfully apologize or do the curteous thing and ask if I was okay, I told him to come back, I threw my cup of water on him (about the same amount of his beer spilled on me) and he got angry and turned away. I said "Wait, come back." and he did and I said "Hold this." I did all of that to do exactly what he did to me. Not apologize. Not notice. Not care. I was a boiling pot ready to blow waiting all that time for him to notice what he had done. I wasn't angry about him spilling his beer on me. I was angry that he said "hold this" and walked away from me at the end of the game, not even caring about me for a second. (btw- I'm underage, so if cops were to come in, they would smell beer on me and I would be put in jail without any questions. Even though I don't drink at all. So that adds to the anger as well)
He then went over to his "friends" and started twisting it and I heard him say that he did nothing and that I threw it on him for no reason. So he started yelling at me telling me that his friends told him I'm crazy. But then again when they left, the two girls hugged me and said goodbye and that they hope we work it out because he was wrong.
His friends and him say he is the victim. I want to know why it's okay if he did it to me, but not when I do it to him. Note, that in the past I was lying in my room with a migraine, and he came in screaming his head off at me, and poured his beer all over me. While the just under 2 year relationship, he has gotten beer on me 3 times. 2 possibly accidental, but no apologies or even noticing. And once on purpose because I put the dirty dishes in the sink instead of on the counter like he wants. And he has a recent charge with the police for Disorderly Conduct for throwing dishes at me and pouring beer on me for that incident, with the intent to harm me.
Obviously there is more background to this and this incidient was bringing up problems similar to this in the past. But I want to know who's wrong. If he would have just stopped the game then and there and said "Oh baby, I'm so sorry, here, let me help you clean up" or show any compassion whatsoever, then I would have been fine and the party would have been great.
5