Is it cheating if your husband said to go out and date?

Been married 20 years. He said in the beginning we were married just did not have the papers. Early spring he said to go out with my friends and if i met someone go and be happy. Go Date! Fathers day weekend we had a huge fight. I said he did not respect me enough to let me sleep when sick instead of getting me up to go and get beer. He said, he never loved me to begin with and i was his last chance to sire a family! September i met an old schoolmate. Seven days later i reported to hubster that i had met some one. Now he says i am cheating and that i am at fault. So if he gives you the ok to date then takes it back after you found a new life, is it still cheating? We are filing separation papers this month.