How should the holidays be shared when a child is married?

My son was married a year ago. The night of the rehearsal dinner his father was taken by ambulance, to the hospital. Subsequenty, he was unable to attend the wedding on the following day. After losing 8 units of blood over a period of 5 days; surgery was performed while my son was on his honeymoon.

My husband was not released from the hospital until the first part of November and was in no condition to travel over the holidays as he was extremely weak and had been placed on a pump to assist in closing the wound.

My son offered to spend Thanksgiving at our home due to the fact his father was unable to travel. At Xmas he created a schedule and didn't ask if this suited our plans but instead informed me as to how the holidays would be. There was conflict over the "schedule" which resulted in his telling me to have a "Merry F****in" Xmas". He has never spoken to me like that in his entire life.

As we are now coming upon the holidays, I was told he would not be home for Thanksgiving because he was not w/his in-laws last year. I explained I thought he had spent the time w/us because his father had missed the wedding & Thanksgiving had been a make up day.

I suggested sharing each day of the holidays between both families, or having us all together. I enjoy my daughter-in-law's family and have no problems being together. I also suggested my son have the holiday, as he did when he and his wife were dating.

I am at a complete loss as to how to handle this situation. I am not looking forward to the holidays at all & wish I could somehow skip Nov/Dec.
By DD337 15 years ago :: Parent/Child
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