How to handle situation that we both still love each other but my husband wont come clean with our finances?

We've been married 10 yrs, have a nice home and I am a stay at homemaker. I constantly feel resentful for my husband not coming forth with our financial status, we have seperate accts, so I get an allowance but everything else is spent on whatever he wants, weather it be the bills,his grown children & even the ex-wife.....very hurtful. But he expects me to NOT ask questions or make remarks. I have asked about getting wills and such but he'll have nothing to do with it. Is counseling the only hope?