How much time can you put into a relationship that doesn't move forward?

I have been dating a guy for nearly 3 years. When we first met, he told me he was separated and lived apart from his wife. SURPRISE! He lied... she found out about me and booted him out. I tried to break it off but he convinced me he loved me....we got back together. He now lives with his elderly father but I have not been allowed to meet him or visit his home. He says he doesn't want his father to meet me until he is divorced because it would make ME look bad in his father's eyes. They have numerous family gatherings but I am never invited by him. As far as I can see, there is no divorce in process (he says it takes a long time). He won't even allow me to be a FB friend because that would be an invasion of his privacy. I really care about this guy but I am starting to feel like I have opened up my life (he's met everyone in MY family) to him but I get the impression things are never going to progress. He makes me feel like I have a disease that I will give to his precious family if they are exposed to me. He says I'm the crazy one for thinking this way and usually can convince me that black is white for some reason...has anyone else ever experienced this???