Can two people survive a marriage if they can't stand sleeping in the same bed????

I need some honest feedback. My husband and I can't sleep together in the same bed. I have all 3 types of insomnia, problems falling asleep, staying asleep and early waking. My poor hubby has restless leg syndrome and snores so loudly I wake up startled about 10 times a night panicking thinking he's choking or haveing a heart attack.Even worse we work different schedules so I go to bed at 4:00 am waking at noon, he goes to bed at midnight and get's up at 8:00 am, so our alarm clocks have become an issue. I am on sleeping meds, and muscle relaxers, I also use ear plugs. The downside is I can't be on sleeping meds forever and I can't wear ear plugs anymore ( I developed an ear infection from them) I'm at my wit's end and he is frusterated.
My idea was that we could go to bed together and do whatever at a resonable time ( the earliest I get off of work is 1:00 am, so think 2:00 is reasonable compromise) then when he falls asleep I can get up watch my tv, read my mags, and crash in the spare room. I work 60 hour weeks and the exhaustion of bad sleep landed me in the hospital. We have tried our system for about 3 nights and I really want him there to fall asleep with and wake with, but .................. I'm happy for the first time in a long time because I have gotton the most amazing sleep.
He on the other hand is insisiting on sleeping on the couch and won't even kiss me goodnight saying that I'm so much happier without him, and he will not sleep in "our " bedroom without me.
I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too. The thing is I've talked to many other couples with similiar situations and they have no problem sleeping in a different room, my perants who just celebrated their 40 anniversary sleep together maybe 2 nights a week and otherwise due to snoring and schedule conflicts sleep in different bedrooms. I just feel it's a fact of life and we need to make a compromise. He feels we need to be in the same bed or he's out the door. Am I being ridiculous?????????
By beckstar 12 years ago :: Marriage
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