When should a mother butt out?

My daughter is in her mid-thirties and has never been married. Now she is in a relationship that just might be The One. She and her boyfriend are still working out the kinks, but I don't believe they have problems that are unusual or insurmountable.

I am troubled, though, when she comes to me for advice. Sometimes when we talk, I tell her what I think she deserves out of a relationship. When I do, this often leads her to confrontations with her boyfriend where she sets new boundaries and really puts her feelings on the line. I think it is productive for her to do this, but I don't want to be the reason for it happening. I certainly don't want to end up as a meddling mother-in-law who is viewed as a troublemaker if these two get married.

What I think my daughter needs is more communication skill of her own, and I'm trying to help her with that, but in the process, I feel as if I'm becoming her voice. Should I continue to advise her when she comes to me or leave her on her own?
By Dottie 15 years ago :: Parent/Child
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