After 25 of marriage how do I change our parent child relationship?

My husband likes to be in charge of our finances and what we do in our relationship. I have allowed him to do everything in the past and now feel that I need to catch up. If he died tomorrow I start to wonder if I could cope. I need to know how to make changes gradually without rocking the boat too much. I am about to start work soon and he has already told me how this money is to be spent.