Hot & Cold: How can someone be so nice and then so mean?

I've been seeing a guy for about 9 months. We started off as friends/colleagues and it progressed from there. We live together now and most of the time he is perfect - same interests, beliefs, he's nice to me, funny, good-looking, smart, etc.
However, other times he can be very hurtful. He has problems with anger, and will often fly off the handle about small things (eg. stubbing his toe will usually result in something being thrown across the room). He acknowledges this and has some health problems that also contribute to it but it still gets very tiring.
Sometimes he calls me names, tells me to F*ck off, that I'm an idiot, etc. I have said many times that I don't want to be spoken to like that, and to please not swear at me anymore but this doesn't normally get a response.
Another major annoyance is if we go out in public and he sees someone he knows, he will let go of my hand and stop paying attention to me. If we go out with his friends, he could go most of the night without talking to me, leaving me alone. I have also said that I don't like this & it makes me feel insignificant but his answer is: I'm not an affectionate person (which is bull, because he constantly kisses/touches me in public).
I'm trying to get through to him and have always said I would never allow myself to get treated like dirt but this is really confusing. He doesn't seem to realise how much this behaviour is affecting me (although I have said so many times!)
Does anyone have similar problems or advice?
By lozj 15 years ago :: Dating
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