It's My High School Crush Again!

I wrote about reconnecting via e-mail with my high school crush (he's single, 60 yrs. old now) on a prior post, basically we have been just e-mailing each other for two years (we live 90 miles apart), we had a few lunch dates during this period, the last one was a few months ago, and he recently sent me a beautiful birthday card. When I posted about this situation the last time, the majority of the posters said to forget him because of the distance between us, his lack of desire to see me and only making e-mail contact etc. A few posters suggested keeping him as an e-mail friend only, so that's what I did, I maintained e-mail contact with him and told him going forward I would not be making any overtures to him suggesting a meeting between us, it would be up to him, and we both agreed to keep our relationship on a friendship basis.

Now he is starting to call me, and he has invited me to his condo and I don't know if I should go or not. if I drive 90 miles and only see him for a few hours and then have to drive home again, I don't know if I would want to go. Additionally, I don't trust myself being with him and maintaining a "friendly relationship" because I have been attracted to him since I was 12 years old and he knows it. I don't think I could see him without at least wanting to give him a hug or a kiss! (lol) It would be very hard for me to see him in person and just want to be friends like we agreed on, and he keeps putting hugs and kisses on his e-mails to me, I don't understand why he does that if he only wants me as a friend (lol), I never allude to any desire for romance with him when I write.

If I decide to go, should I ask him how long we would be together on that day (to make the long drive worthwhile)? It's awkward for me to ask him that when we are just meeting as friends, and I don't know how to address the question with him. (Before someone says he should be driving here to see me, he has an erratic work schedule and problems with his car right now and I'm retired with a good SUV, so it's easier for me to go see him).

If any posters are going to say I shouldn't go because if his behavior the past two years (lack of wanting to see me), I would probably agree with you, but I really do love him (although I'm not "in love" with him) and welcome him back in my life as a friend or boyfriend, either way, it doesn't matter to me and I would love to see him again.
By jeena 15 years ago :: Dating
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