What do I do to help my husband feel better about the holidays???
Some of you that are here often may have read my question about gifts for the holidays and about my mother in law. Well this will be a bit long but I must explain it in detail to get the proper advice....
I have been married 4 years to my husband and together almost 6 years. Well his Mother has never cared for me though she'd made up her mind about me before she even met me. She doesn't like the fact that I'm older than my husband. She also didn't want her son with me because he had no kids when he met me and I did. Even though her husband is older than her and she had 2 kids when her husband met her. Well I just steer clear of her and she doesn't make an effort to come near me either.
I notice that every year close to all holidays my husband becomes sad. I always ask him why but he says nothing is wrong. I know it is because whenever there is a holiday coming up wether it's Easter,Mother's Day ,Father's Day whatever he gets an attitude. He has told me before that when he was growing up his mother would take them away to stay in hotels for the holidays. She didn't want to take the chance of family coming around. This is strange to me but I guess that's just her way.
Well my family always get together for holidays and more than likely they all flock to my house. I practically raised all of my siblings being that mom was never around. So all of my siblings come to me for holidays and plus I'm the only one who can cook. They will all pitch in food and help me cook if I show them how it's done. My siblings will try to cook but it's horrible when they do.
When I saw how down my husband was for holidays I told him that he should invite some of his family sometimes. He did but everytime they come up with an excuse.
His biological father and mother divorced when he was 4 years old. His mom told him that his father moved an hour away a few years back. One day while scrolling through the new phone book to see if my married name was added I saw his father's name directly above mine. The address was the same address that my husband remembered his dad having. He called and dad said no he never moved. They promised to get together the next day. As soon as my husband hung up the phone his mom called. She told him that his dad just hung up with her and she knew he called him. She told him he shouldn't contact his bio dad because his stepdad raised him! What is she still doing staying in contact with the father of her now grown son??She is happily remarried and has teenage kids with her husband. That's another story but the next day when he tried to contact bio father there was no answer. I have sent cards for every holiday to him with our phone numbers. I have invited him to our holiday dinners. He always says he has other plans. My husband is his only child and my son is his only grandchild that he has never met.I haven't met his bio father. He has seen pictures because I mailed them to him.
I don't know how to help my husband feel better about the holidays. He gets so angry when he sees all the family over and everyone is exchanging gifts. We have a good time together with my family but seems as though he gets jealous.Just the other day he said to me"You love to be the center of attention, every holiday everyone has to come to you!" Then he walked off and I didn't get the chance to confront him because my daughter had friends over. I didn't want to cause a scene with her friends here. I know it's not me it's the fact that he's so hurt by his family. They reject him then he takes it out on me. It's not my fault that his family is dysfunctional! I can't help it if they don't want anything to do with him. I can't make them be a part of his life! What can I do?? Then just the other day his 18 year old brother called and cursed him out because he won't buy the mom this expensive phone that he thinks she should have for Christmas. My husband told him that he simply can't afford it. He flew off the handle hung up on my husband. He hasn't answered the phone again. Noone at the house will pick up nor will they answere their cells. So I guess he won't be coming over again either. She just started allowing my husband to pick up the 18 year old a few months back for an hour or so visit. Though they live almost an hour away and husband would drive all the way back home then have to run him back an hour later. I guess some time would be better than no time. What do I do.... what do I say to make things better??
I have been married 4 years to my husband and together almost 6 years. Well his Mother has never cared for me though she'd made up her mind about me before she even met me. She doesn't like the fact that I'm older than my husband. She also didn't want her son with me because he had no kids when he met me and I did. Even though her husband is older than her and she had 2 kids when her husband met her. Well I just steer clear of her and she doesn't make an effort to come near me either.
I notice that every year close to all holidays my husband becomes sad. I always ask him why but he says nothing is wrong. I know it is because whenever there is a holiday coming up wether it's Easter,Mother's Day ,Father's Day whatever he gets an attitude. He has told me before that when he was growing up his mother would take them away to stay in hotels for the holidays. She didn't want to take the chance of family coming around. This is strange to me but I guess that's just her way.
Well my family always get together for holidays and more than likely they all flock to my house. I practically raised all of my siblings being that mom was never around. So all of my siblings come to me for holidays and plus I'm the only one who can cook. They will all pitch in food and help me cook if I show them how it's done. My siblings will try to cook but it's horrible when they do.
When I saw how down my husband was for holidays I told him that he should invite some of his family sometimes. He did but everytime they come up with an excuse.
His biological father and mother divorced when he was 4 years old. His mom told him that his father moved an hour away a few years back. One day while scrolling through the new phone book to see if my married name was added I saw his father's name directly above mine. The address was the same address that my husband remembered his dad having. He called and dad said no he never moved. They promised to get together the next day. As soon as my husband hung up the phone his mom called. She told him that his dad just hung up with her and she knew he called him. She told him he shouldn't contact his bio dad because his stepdad raised him! What is she still doing staying in contact with the father of her now grown son??She is happily remarried and has teenage kids with her husband. That's another story but the next day when he tried to contact bio father there was no answer. I have sent cards for every holiday to him with our phone numbers. I have invited him to our holiday dinners. He always says he has other plans. My husband is his only child and my son is his only grandchild that he has never met.I haven't met his bio father. He has seen pictures because I mailed them to him.
I don't know how to help my husband feel better about the holidays. He gets so angry when he sees all the family over and everyone is exchanging gifts. We have a good time together with my family but seems as though he gets jealous.Just the other day he said to me"You love to be the center of attention, every holiday everyone has to come to you!" Then he walked off and I didn't get the chance to confront him because my daughter had friends over. I didn't want to cause a scene with her friends here. I know it's not me it's the fact that he's so hurt by his family. They reject him then he takes it out on me. It's not my fault that his family is dysfunctional! I can't help it if they don't want anything to do with him. I can't make them be a part of his life! What can I do?? Then just the other day his 18 year old brother called and cursed him out because he won't buy the mom this expensive phone that he thinks she should have for Christmas. My husband told him that he simply can't afford it. He flew off the handle hung up on my husband. He hasn't answered the phone again. Noone at the house will pick up nor will they answere their cells. So I guess he won't be coming over again either. She just started allowing my husband to pick up the 18 year old a few months back for an hour or so visit. Though they live almost an hour away and husband would drive all the way back home then have to run him back an hour later. I guess some time would be better than no time. What do I do.... what do I say to make things better??
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