which one is to blame for being unjust?

my parents always say that i have a bad attitude
the truth is that i am just a person who doesn't like to show emotion for mundane stuff and i appreciate living in solitude thus not bothering others and myself,however i do help others for favours and sincere intentions thus i am a restrained person and i do take parts of speech seriously

my parents are unhappy since i am not interested in active groups since i just don't find being in a community of cliches amusing, i rather go with the perspective that i should rely on myself since the most important relationship is the relationship you have with yourself to keep yourself composed.my parents doesn't like to accept critiques eventhough they like to critique others,they always ask me what is wrong with myself but when i speak up they just could not bear it that i am so well versed that they could be wrong in terms of their opinion. they are so orthodox that they think that parents know best but i am a free thinker i do know when to heed their advice and when to follow my own, however my mom doesn't like me since i am not like her, i mean i am an individual why should i be like her, i am me and i do not intend to be like anyone else. just because i believe in different style than my mom, she dislikes me and think that i am rebellious, the truth is i am just trying to figure out what is best for me and that itself is restricted. i tried to tell them how i feel but they backlash and scold me like hell, when i seek for consolation to my friends they terrorize me for saying bad things about my family to outsiders, i feel so down and insecure.

once my parents say that they regret having me as child that they should have aborted me since day one
they always blow things out of proportion like labelling me as a whore/slut/bitch in front of public when i ask for a simple black nail polish
they don't give me an outlet to experiment in style and they just want me to be wht they want me to be
they say that they are unconvinced that i could grow up to be a responsible adult since they don't see it in me,they tend to terror me about stopping my education fee when i did not please them
when i say that they are causing trauma on me they just say that i am being oversensitive but am I?

i have a talent in drawing but for them its not enough i have to always prove everything to earn my way,sometimes a child needs rewards and understanding but they just don't get it

when i'm upset i tend to have a sour depressed look and they too resent it
like for once please let me alone you have hurt me enough
but once again they say that i am the cause of all the problem and misery
they always say that i am ungrateful blablabla

they never see that i am creative,frugal,openminded
they never approach and apologize or show a softer side when i am vulnerable

all they say is that i am getting worse
i just think that all the pressure and pain is just because of the emotion in our bond,when it is in the family i feel it is more intimate thus it hurts even more
but they say they are tired of me and always dominate the conversation

my believes are not illegal or wrong or faulthy or vulgar or foolish it is just in a different perspective but that too is too much for them

i am the one who is the one always forcedfully asked to shut up

when i bring about a case study about other family they threatened to chase me out and say"since you like that family more why don't u move out with them"

this just make me feel more uncomfortable and seek for independence and liberty even more

when i say that creative ppl tend to have stronger opinion they say its bullshit
for once can they stand by my side and be a shoulder to cry on
but once again they say that they are my parent not my friend
yet they make everything so difficult

By aurel 15 years ago :: Parent/Child
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