grieving for a child

Hi again to everyone who has been there for me with relationship problems.

One person asked me to keep them updated with my progress.

Here it is: I got a bad news this morning from home where I originally come from, although I am British, but my family live in Middle East where I was born too.

I live alone in UK with my child (so I am very isolated).

To cut the long story short: my niece has passed away (the good news is that I did not call my ex to cry on his shoulder; thanks to support I am getting from you and friends)

I do not know how I should feel; I have never ever met my brother's daughter, I never felt any emotional attachement to her, she is very ill from birth and she was always ill, basically she did not have a normal life and was in pain.

One part of me is very sad and I want to scream and cry, but another part of me thinks that she is better off where she has gone if there is one, am I being cruel or am I being realistic.

But I cannot help feeling great pain and sadness, perhaps it is more for my brother than her, because he lost his child.

How doe one deal with death of family member whom has never met, I cannot even go to my country for political reasons. the government is very cruel and been a lot in the news lately.

I wish I had been able to have gone to the funeral.

I lost my father and I could not go to his funeral and If I am honest I have never got over his death.