Am I wrong for not being sure I want to continue the relationship? What should I do? *Very Long* Help!!!

This coming February will be the one year mark for my boyfriend and I. About three months ago we found out that we are expecting a baby that was Not planned. We have good times where we get along and things seem to be running smoothly, but it is always cut short by him saying he needs "TIME" to himself and doesnt want to see me for a few days. After the first night, he is telling me he misses me and wants to see me again. Since he doesnt have a car and didnt have a job until recently, I have always been the one to drive to him back and forth. Its not the driving that I mind, as much as the fact that I have been the one paying for EVERYTHING. Since he got his job, he has put 10 dollars in my gas tank and taken me out to eat. (FIRST TIME EVER in our YEAR realationship) I dont mind that it is the first time, but what upsets me is the fight we got into earlier this week. I simply wanted to talk to him about something he said the night before that really P***ed me off and upset me (it was something about my past that hurts me and I'm embarrased by and he used it against me). I was keeping a calm voice and a cool attitude until he started getting mad and saying I always try to start fights with him. I tried my hardest to just remain calm and not escalate the fight, but some how it got to him saying he didnt want to be around me. Soon enough he was DEMANDING that I drive him that very instant to his friends house. I was still in my pjs and not ready to leave, so I told him he would have to wait because I simply did not feel like leaving yet. This REALLY made him mad and he was saying I NEEDED to take him NOW! One thing led to another and he called me a "golddigger" (i laughed on the inside when he said that) but at the same time I was offended because I have been the one paying for EVERYTHING for him for a whole year. The fight (what I intended to only be a calm conversation) led to me stating, "it is upsetting that after a year of dating, we have extremely crappy communication, and its hard to have a relationship with out a KEY component." *COMMUNICATION* Any time I simply try to talk to him, it turns into an argument, and I told him that "I dont like fighting" with him. His response is what threw me over the egde and made me want to snap... He took me being concerned about how we will make things work, to we shouldnt be together and i should "throw myself down a flight of stairs" (to kill OUR child that is inside of me). Its not the first time he has said something like that about the baby either. After he said it, I replyed with "You know, F**k You. I'm done, I dont want to be with you anymore." And I preceeded to get ready to leave. The first thing he asked me after, was where is his stuff. (to pack up out of my house) I took him to his friends house, didnt say anything to him the entire car ride. He tried saying stuff to me but I snapped back with not so nice comments. Then he had the NERVE to ask WHY I was being so "B***hy". I dont recall if I even answered him. The same night after all that happened, I get a text saying that he Loves me and wants to talk about everything because he Wants Nobody else but me. The next night, same thing. Texts saying he loves me and our baby, and wants to be with me. He even asked to come see me, apparently he was going to find a ride out here (we live 25 minutes apart). In a year he has gotten a ride to my house TWICE. I just dont know if I want to put up with this anymore, but I feel like I would be wrong for breaking up the relationship. I feel like our child deserves both its parents, together and happy. I dont want to be made out to be the one who didnt try, because I have been trying for a WHILE to make things work with him. Another thing that bothers me is him not going to the first ultrasound for the baby. He knew it was important to me, but when he told me the night before that he wasnt going, I didnt push the issue. I just said it was fine. And I dont know if he plans on going to the second one that is coming up next week either. If he wont be there for me, At least he should be there for the kid. So far, No luck. Im not entirely sure he even wants to be a father. =/ I dont know what to do or what to think. SOMEONE HELP? I need advice. How do I believe what he is saying if there is no PROOF to back it up?
By MommyToBe 14 years ago :: Dating
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