My husband has intimacy issues and I'm about at my wits end?

My husband of 4 years has some issues when it comes to having intimate conversations. I've known about it our whole marriage, obviously, but I had hoped that over time he would become comfortable having deep conversations with me. It's when I start trying to have marital conversations with him, for example I try to tell him about anything that he does that frustrates me or upsets me and how I would like him to try to do certain things differently and I give him the opportunity to tell me if there's anything I can do better for him. That way we have all of our issues on the table and that in turn prevents the huge "build-up" fight from lack of communication. But every time I try to get into these conversations he backs down and tries to change the subject. He says it makes him uncomfortable and frustrated. I usually let him out of the conversation, but last night I was fed up with it and kept pushing the issue (I know that I probably shouldn't have, but it's so frustrating to have a husband and not be able to talk to him about things that I feel are important). Well, he got pretty upset and lashed out at me and we had a pretty big fight about it. I just don't know what to do! I'm trying to have open communication with him, but he isn't letting me! Whenever something happens that we need to talk about he prefers to forget about it and pretend it never happened rather than dealing with it like an adult.

Any other time he's the perfect husband. Great father to our 17 month old daughter. He's very sweet to me. It's just when I try to get him to open up to me is when we hit a problem. Any advice?
The funny thing is that whenever I try to engage these conversation I make sure my tone is as light as possible. Most of the time I'm laughing and making jokes, resting my head on his shoulder and caressing his arm...trying to keep the tone light. But it doesn't work.
By 14 years ago :: Marriage
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