am i insecure and need your help...and women!! i have been with my fiance for almost 2 years. i love him am crazy about him. he is my everything, really. when we started dating i was not too sure because he was younger. he is 21 and i am 26. anyway he was just so sweet and we hit it off. well a month into it he cheated on me with his nasty ex. he said it meant nothing he had no clue why hr did it. well i took it really bad. it really hurt, i mean knife to the heart hurt. he cried and did everything to prove he was sorry and i was all that he wanted. he then pro posed to me i said yes. well then we goy pregnant. which he wanted so that was all good. we ended up giving up my house to find a new one we moved in with his parents. big mistake. we fought alot. he fought with his parents alot. he has a really controling mother. well he ended up getting really mad and punched a hole in the wall then he was crying. i honestly think it was frustration, he is not a bad guy. then we noticed when he got mad it woulb like extreme anger, not pretty. he can be playng a video game and get really frustrated and throw a controller. ect. anyway she gave him prozac. he started to take that everyday. she is not a doctor and i really wanted him to see a doctor. i do not think prozac is a cureall and i have read bad things about it. anyway, so then the next rpoblem we encountered was his lack of feelings. he just would not feel anything. said he loves me but he just would not show it. which killed me, his loveness was part of the reason i fell for him. it just felt like he did not care. well know its like he suddenly does not like talking about feelings. i can get insecure and try to talk to him and he gets really mad not wanting to talk about it. i take that as he does not care. now he tells me i am too insecure, too needy. he developed this hobby for four wheelers and its like that and his friends are way more importaNT than me. he says they are not but thats what it feels like. i told him thst i wanted him to quit taking the prozac. but then i worry about cheating...maybe i am crazy. i worry he will get mad and cheat on me. i am scared to death i built a life around him and it feels like he just is annoyed with me. then on top of that i discovered he has been looking at porn all the time. so let me get this straight his sex drive for me is gone but he can look at porn all the time...bull shit!!! i am trying to get a boob job, i really want it, but the process is taking awhile. i feel like the porn is so degrading to me. i am trying so hard to be what he wants then he turns to these freaking hot chicks that are everything i can not be. i am trying to lose weight, twenty pounds to go, i am trying to do and be everything and it just feels like i keep failing. like he is sand just slipping through my fingers. he gets mad and will say mean things like that he does not want to be with me, then the next day he acts like it never happened, i have no clue if he means it or not. so then i do get insecure and needy. i hate this i feel so frustrated and god forbid if i talk to him he will get mad. screwed either way, please help i need it..
By tiffanymarie 15 years ago :: Dating
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