Have you ever felt like someone in the past you use to date was just who you were always supposed to be with?

Ok, so my husband and i use to have A LOT of problems about 6 years ago. Well we both were in different lives. I was having an affair (don't judge he wasn't any better) with a guy who i met at work. We connected on some type of level i cant explain. Well i had an affair with this guy for 9 months, we after 9 months started telling eachother that we love eachother. It just felt real i guess, he was just genuinly a good guy. Well, after about a week of him telling me he loves me, i called it off, quit my job, it scared me, (i don't know why, i'm crazy). So we didnt speak again until about 2 years later, i saw him walk in a job that i know worked out. He said "wow, i cant believe it" and kept walking, i left my area and followed him, we spoke, he gave me his new number, i finally called, well we decided to meet, and it was like NOTHING had changed, it was just amazing.. well myhusband and i's relationship was well "fixed" at this point, he no longer drank and we were doing really good with eachother. Well, i felt bad so i never saw this other guy again after that. Well until about 2 years again later, i decided well, i cant take it and called him and he wasjust like wow again, and couldnt believe it, told me how he hasnt been able to get me out of his head either, but had no choice but to respect my marriage. So we saw eachother twice after this call, and again, NOTHING had changed chemistry or emotions wise. This was 6 months ago. Now i cant get him out of my head, im crazy depressed, NO I CANT LEAVE MY MARRIAGE FOR TONS OF REASONS. But i cant stop wondering if why we always felt this way, if it didnt mean something more.. i just feel in my heart like i could never in my right mind ever let him go. Like im not supposed to. Do you ever feel this way?