My daughter has been dating her boyfriend for 4 yrs. and last May he said she would have a ring by next May...
My daughter met her boyfriend in college and they have been out of college since May 2008. They started living together November of 2008 to the present and have talked of eventual marriage since college days. They have gone together for 4 years now - even a bit over. My daughter would like to be engaged after all this time. His mother has a ring that was his grandmother's with a set of diamonds in it ( I have never seen this ring, only heard about it ) that he is allowed to remove the diamonds and have them put in a band setting FOR my daughter. So the most EXPENSIVE part of the ring is already paid for. It is almost May, and so far, NO RING. I asked her before, what is she going to do if May comes and NO RING ? Her reply : "Well, I'm not going to throw him out "..... My daughter is so blind. It sounds like now she is going to give him through the whole month of MAY as well to come up with the ring.
Oh, some back story : last year, my daughter told me that it bothers him that she makes more money than he does...an ego thing Her boyfriend didn't always go to class in college and while she was studying her heart out in Spain her fall semester of her senior year, he flunked 2 subjects beause he was concentrating on Video Games ??? So maybe it's not just the economy why she earns more than he does. He also said last year, concerning marriage, that he was "workin' on it".... as in getting used to the IDEA of it.
Right before Thanksgiving, they moved into their 2nd apartment together and we helped them. My daughter was away at job training during the week and home on weekends so his parents and my husband and I helped them move then. Most of their stuff got moved - the rest the boyfriend was to move during the week. Thanksgiving was that week and my daughter drove directly here to our place from her training. She called her boyfriend that night, only to find out that he THREW OUT her TV that they used in the bedroom. She was incensed. I was incensed. As you're never allowed to say anything bad about the boyfriend, she told me this was HER business. They were going to buy a NEW Hi-Def one for the bedroom on Black Friday so he didn't care I suppose. We had bought her that TV. She was mad and then was over it that night as he was picking up a camera for her on Black Friday... Ug.
So last Saturday, we're all out to eat together, and my daughter says that they want to go to Egypt on their honeymoon - and I just couldn't take it - I mean, don't you have to get ENGAGED first ? So I looked at the boyfriend sitting in the booth across from me and I said how May was only 2 weeks away..... My husband and daughter started yelling at me - the boyfriend said nothing. Ten minutes later, my daughter and husband go to the restroom in the restaurant and it's just me and the boyfriend sitting there awkwardly. I say to him that I just don't want to see my daughter get hurt. He says he understands. Then HE says that she handles money better than he does, which I didn't understand what he meant....then he said that she "makes more money than he does". O-kay, I'm thinking. I tell him my daughter wants the whole package. My brother has been living with somebody since 1971, my father didn't like it, we didn't like it. My daughter wants to be married WITH children. We want that too. THEN - I looked him RIGHT IN THE EYE and said "Do YOU want to get married" and he said "I'm working on it". The SAME thing from last summer where he has to get USED to the "idea". I haven't told my daughter about this conversation. She makes excuses for him and I don't know if she will put a spin on his answer. I expected his answer to be "Yes", or "Of course", or "Definitely" - Not the one I got. And my daughter - on one hand, she got tired of no committment and he gave himself till this May, but if she doesn't get the ring, she's not kicking him out ? She can afford the apartment by herself on her salary - he can't. I REALLY don't think the ring is coming by May 1st or by May 31 ? And should I tell my daughter the conversation and what her boyfriend said - how he couldn't say YES to wanting to get married ?
Oh, some back story : last year, my daughter told me that it bothers him that she makes more money than he does...an ego thing Her boyfriend didn't always go to class in college and while she was studying her heart out in Spain her fall semester of her senior year, he flunked 2 subjects beause he was concentrating on Video Games ??? So maybe it's not just the economy why she earns more than he does. He also said last year, concerning marriage, that he was "workin' on it".... as in getting used to the IDEA of it.
Right before Thanksgiving, they moved into their 2nd apartment together and we helped them. My daughter was away at job training during the week and home on weekends so his parents and my husband and I helped them move then. Most of their stuff got moved - the rest the boyfriend was to move during the week. Thanksgiving was that week and my daughter drove directly here to our place from her training. She called her boyfriend that night, only to find out that he THREW OUT her TV that they used in the bedroom. She was incensed. I was incensed. As you're never allowed to say anything bad about the boyfriend, she told me this was HER business. They were going to buy a NEW Hi-Def one for the bedroom on Black Friday so he didn't care I suppose. We had bought her that TV. She was mad and then was over it that night as he was picking up a camera for her on Black Friday... Ug.
So last Saturday, we're all out to eat together, and my daughter says that they want to go to Egypt on their honeymoon - and I just couldn't take it - I mean, don't you have to get ENGAGED first ? So I looked at the boyfriend sitting in the booth across from me and I said how May was only 2 weeks away..... My husband and daughter started yelling at me - the boyfriend said nothing. Ten minutes later, my daughter and husband go to the restroom in the restaurant and it's just me and the boyfriend sitting there awkwardly. I say to him that I just don't want to see my daughter get hurt. He says he understands. Then HE says that she handles money better than he does, which I didn't understand what he meant....then he said that she "makes more money than he does". O-kay, I'm thinking. I tell him my daughter wants the whole package. My brother has been living with somebody since 1971, my father didn't like it, we didn't like it. My daughter wants to be married WITH children. We want that too. THEN - I looked him RIGHT IN THE EYE and said "Do YOU want to get married" and he said "I'm working on it". The SAME thing from last summer where he has to get USED to the "idea". I haven't told my daughter about this conversation. She makes excuses for him and I don't know if she will put a spin on his answer. I expected his answer to be "Yes", or "Of course", or "Definitely" - Not the one I got. And my daughter - on one hand, she got tired of no committment and he gave himself till this May, but if she doesn't get the ring, she's not kicking him out ? She can afford the apartment by herself on her salary - he can't. I REALLY don't think the ring is coming by May 1st or by May 31 ? And should I tell my daughter the conversation and what her boyfriend said - how he couldn't say YES to wanting to get married ?
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