I don't know why she's doing this, advice please? Please Help!
Okay, some background info: so, a few months ago I saw this website called SideTaker. Then, I stumbled upon girls and guys asking questions that they either already know the answer to, or they ask questions that NO ONE could possibly know the answer to. Examples include but are not limited to: "Does he like me or not?" "How can I get him to warm up to the idea of marriage?" "Shouldn't he tell his friends about us?" "Should he be hiding his text messages from me?"
Only he knows if he likes you, You can't get him to entertain the idea of marriage if he told you from the beginning he didn't want to get married and you consented by staying in the relationship, Yes obviously friends and family should know about a girlfriend and if you're a "secret" girlfriend then something is probably amiss, No he should not have to share his texts with you but he should by no means only look at them as soon as you get up and then immediately delete them.
So I guess I have two questions:
1. Why are they asking questions that can easily be answered by Captain Obvious?** Are they incapable of stepping back for a moment and looking at the bigger picture, or are they just hoping that someone, somewhere will tell them what they want to hear instead of glaringly obvious answers like "No, your married boyfriend probably won't leave his wife and family for you."
But then, if they post on a public forum, why do they go through and give Thumbs Down to any answers that aren't what they want to hear, even if the replies are kind, thoughtful, and logical? (Look through some questions, it's totally obvious in some of them that the person who asked the question is doing it just because its not what they wanted to hear.)
2. Why ask US questions that we cannot POSSIBLY know. How the HELL are we supposed to know if he's going to call you or not? You can replay the date over and over ad nauseum, but you're really just setting yourself up for failure if people get your hopes up by saying he'll totally call. Then you'll be here next week asking if YOU should call (which isn't a bad question, but you probably should've started with that) and then again asking strangers why he didn't call. If he does call, you'll ask if strangers if we think he likes you. None of these questions can answered by strangers. Honestly I have had dates that went great on paper but it just didn't spark. And my boyfriend right now, I actually didn't like very much because we had a debate when we first met. I found out the the rest of his views were exactly like mine and how much we had in common, neither of us thought we had this much in common at first, that could happen to you too. Or, things could be going great and something minor happens like he meets someone else or he found out you have a cat and he hates cats.
I kind of wish there were more substantive topics like the debate on nationalized healthcare. It doesn't even have to be that deep, even something like, "I'm thinking of getting a Rottweiler but have small children, does anyone here have one and how did it go?" or even "What do you thinking of this tattoo?" But at least these would be things people can answer and truly give their opinion on.
**There's no such thing as a stupid question, but you can come off as heavily in denial, or as a person completely lacking self-awareness and lacking an ability to contemplate and understand social cues.
Only he knows if he likes you, You can't get him to entertain the idea of marriage if he told you from the beginning he didn't want to get married and you consented by staying in the relationship, Yes obviously friends and family should know about a girlfriend and if you're a "secret" girlfriend then something is probably amiss, No he should not have to share his texts with you but he should by no means only look at them as soon as you get up and then immediately delete them.
So I guess I have two questions:
1. Why are they asking questions that can easily be answered by Captain Obvious?** Are they incapable of stepping back for a moment and looking at the bigger picture, or are they just hoping that someone, somewhere will tell them what they want to hear instead of glaringly obvious answers like "No, your married boyfriend probably won't leave his wife and family for you."
But then, if they post on a public forum, why do they go through and give Thumbs Down to any answers that aren't what they want to hear, even if the replies are kind, thoughtful, and logical? (Look through some questions, it's totally obvious in some of them that the person who asked the question is doing it just because its not what they wanted to hear.)
2. Why ask US questions that we cannot POSSIBLY know. How the HELL are we supposed to know if he's going to call you or not? You can replay the date over and over ad nauseum, but you're really just setting yourself up for failure if people get your hopes up by saying he'll totally call. Then you'll be here next week asking if YOU should call (which isn't a bad question, but you probably should've started with that) and then again asking strangers why he didn't call. If he does call, you'll ask if strangers if we think he likes you. None of these questions can answered by strangers. Honestly I have had dates that went great on paper but it just didn't spark. And my boyfriend right now, I actually didn't like very much because we had a debate when we first met. I found out the the rest of his views were exactly like mine and how much we had in common, neither of us thought we had this much in common at first, that could happen to you too. Or, things could be going great and something minor happens like he meets someone else or he found out you have a cat and he hates cats.
I kind of wish there were more substantive topics like the debate on nationalized healthcare. It doesn't even have to be that deep, even something like, "I'm thinking of getting a Rottweiler but have small children, does anyone here have one and how did it go?" or even "What do you thinking of this tattoo?" But at least these would be things people can answer and truly give their opinion on.
**There's no such thing as a stupid question, but you can come off as heavily in denial, or as a person completely lacking self-awareness and lacking an ability to contemplate and understand social cues.
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