Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel so awkward about having a physical relationship?

Is there something wrong with me? I don't feel sexually attracted to male or female. I am a 17 year old girl, and have not had an actual relationship. I think guys are really attractive, and I have never thought that about a girl. However, when a guy makes a move, I feel awkward and embarrassed. This one guy always gives me hugs whenever I see him at school. I am beginning to feel awkward about it, even when I am not in front of my friends. I don't know why considering I was so excited when he seemed to be expressing interest in me.

The last experience with an almost boyfriend was disastrous. It didn't ever become anything thankfully. He went around telling everyone we were dating when I said I would hang out with him one day after telling him nicely that I wouldn't go to homecoming with him. He was a good friend of mine. I told him many times that I wasn't ready for a relationship, but he twisted my words around to fit what he wanted to believe. I never hung out with him once or went on a date. When I nicely, but clearly told him the final time, he got really angry saying I had been leading him on and plenty of not so nice stuff. Then my mom got a text from his mom saying how I broke his heart, having asked him out and then breaking up with him. I told my mom what really happened and she believed me. The whole situation was absurd. I realized, especially as I got to know him better, that I was not attracted to him at all. (He wasn't very cute to be frank though he thinks he is model gorgeous) But what it really came down to was I didn't like that he was trying to be manipulative and that he was arrogant and (at the end) rude.
None of that ever emotionally bothered me, especially since I smoothed out the entire situation. We are now friends, though I am not as close to him because I have realized that I don't love his personality. He is friendly though and means well.

But, I am wondering, was there more to it than that. Why do I think I am ready for a relationship, think guys are cute, but feel uncomfortable about a physical relationship? Thanks.

Just to make things clear: I am not referring to sex. I do not even feel comfortable about kissing (I haven't had my first kiss yet) or hugging. I have often had pleasant thoughts thinking about a first kiss and having a boyfriend. I just don't know why I don't seem comfortable with it when I think I want one. I even feel awkward when my friend, who I have a bit of a crush on, and who really likes me is always giving me hugs. I think that might be because I am at school and know everyone there. I always feel embarassed, even though he is ridiculously attractive and is really nice. I am really hoping that you guys can explain or have gone through this before. Thanks again.
Please answer. I don't know why this is and what I should do. Thanks! I am really hoping that someone will be nice enough to answer or will have had a similar experience. Thanks again.
By 11 years ago :: Dating
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