2 year relationship advice - the ex?!

Hi there,

I'm looking for some advice around my 2 year relationship. I met my current partner 5 months after the final end of a 5 year on/off rather emotionally traumatic rollercoaster of a relationship with my ex boyfriend. He too, had recently broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years - another very passionate, exciting, argumentative and tumultuous relationship. Our relationship is so much better than I ever could have thought was possible, having been caught up for so long in something that clearly wasn't right. He's very caring, kind, funny, always up for doing things, always includes me with his friends and family and always joins in with mine. He does what he says he's going to do - something I had never before been used to!

However, I have a 'feeling' that his ex still has a bigger part in his mind/heart than maybe she should. When we very first started dating, he wasn't over her, and I wasn't over my ex, not fully. However, while I feel I have completely moved on, I am not sure he has. I find myself constantly comparing myself to her - I know they had their problems, but their relationship seemed so exciting and edgy with an incredible sex life… (He has a very high libido and I think for this part, she probably suited him better!) He never says anything like that, but we're very open with each other about our pasts, and I know a lot of what they got up to and I'm pretty sure the best sex he's ever had was with her. The thing is, she cheated on him several times, when they were together… and then when we got together she reacted badly, and deliberately slept with one of his engaged best friends since he was a kid and then preceded to tell him about it. Now, he cut off contact with them both, but shortly was speaking to his ex again… 2 years later he still hasn't forgiven his best friend but he's forgiven her.

We have now been living together for about 6 months, and things are fantastic, he's never said anything to compare us, or make me feel anything but good about myself. But it's one of those situations that I'm just not comfortable with. If anything, when talking about his past, he claims he doesn't even particularly like her - but that's what worries me, I know they still msn each other, I know he's always checkin out what she's doing on facebook, and I get the feeling he's only saying that to make me feel better. And he recently had a big clear out of all junk from the past, but kept a framed picture of her. It's obviously not up in the house, but we've been together 2 years now, she's now engaged to someone else and I don't see why he'd keep something like that when she treated him so badly and he claims not to even like her…. Now, maybe this is all just normal. I admit I am still interested to know what's going on in my ex's life even tho I would never want him back, I'm just not sure if this is the same…

Any advice please?!!


By Elle83 14 years ago :: Dating
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