What do I do? Married 6 years, 2 kids (4 yrs & 2) wife has cheated on me, moved out says wants to be with me.

Readers beware this is going to be quite a long read due to the situation at hand and the background I need to give you all on whats going on here..

I have been married to my wife for 6 years, I met her when i was in the Navy. We have 2 children together and have had your typical marital issues I would say. We have always managed to get through them and we even went to counseling which at the time seemed to have helped a lot. Back in April 1st (of all days right?) she came to me out of the clear blue she was going to move out for "a while" for maybe 6 months, but she would be back she just needed to "clear her head" .. I was in shock but accepted this decision and was willing to work with her. Meanwhile she lived at the house as she looked for another place to stay and at one point after talking with her she said she would stay and work on things...

This month came and she ended up officially moving out with one of her girl friends.. I began to get very suspicious of everything due to the fact that we hadnt had any issues as far as arguments or even major issues lately. I checked into her voicemail to discover a man saying "I love you" at the end of every voicemail.. Also I accidently saw a text from the guy with the same phrases at the end.. When I approached her about it she said it was a friend and it was just something said only to later end up dragging it out of her that she had admitted to have been in an affair on me for the last few months.. (at least)

Back when we first got married (within the first year) she had caused a lot of financial grief with our credit cards being maxed out and bouncing checks etc when I was out to sea, at one point she said she was leaving for a few days and I ended up having an emotional affair myself with someone however cut off ties and admitted to her the same day this all took place. I told her that if she was going to not be willing to work through it I understand and that I dont blame her for leaving, well she didnt and we worked through things.. Everything had seemed fine after a while and we had our kids and lived life with issues here and there to till recently..

Everything I did was for her, I basically ended my own social life so she could have hers. Moved to NC so she could be by her family and anything she ever needed or wanted I spoiled her with.

Then the present day came.. I have found out she has had sex with this man at least 10 times and yet says she wants to be with me but just not right now.. I told her to end this affair but she says she will when she is ready... Ensuring that she isnt going to be having sex but talking with him "makes her happy" .. Noting that she tells me it is nothing I did but shes just not emotionally in the marriage right now and doesnt want to be with ANYONE (yet shes out doing this crap with another guy) We even had sex before I found out and these sexual acts were going on behind my back during that I just didn tknow.

I've told her how much I love her and would be willing to try to work things out somehow as in going to counseling again and just trying anything, but shes such an angry person its hard to even talk about it without her flipping out or not giving me straight answers.. I dont know what to do, she says shes not filing papers.. The guy shes cheating on me with is a cop, in North Carolina this affair is illegal and I can also press charges against the guy if I wanted to for Alienation of Affection.

Meanwhile the kids have been with me but she plans to bring them with her during the week and have them with me on the weekends until this is all "figured out" .. Am I just wasting my time? I mean I know I feel like I'm being taken for a ride here but I still do love her with all my heart and she knows this..

Please help me..
By Nova 14 years ago :: Marriage
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