Is this something that can be helped by counseling or is it useless as long as he stays in touch with family?

The first incident was shortly after we got married. I quit smoking and went from a size 2 to 6 overnight. None of my clothes fit, except one skirt (and not very well, too short, too tight). So, I'm wearing my only skirt and he suprises me (i would have worn pajama pants) and takes me to a family gathering (his fam). When we get home, he says to me "We think that you should start dressing like you're married".
When someone says something negative to him about me, he fusses at me. He acts totally different when he has been around them. I don't go around them anymore because they are super-rude to me. He has come home after spending the day with them and literally jumped on me in a rage for no reason.
Ok. So the issue right now is that we live in a house that should be condemned. Everything is falling apart and word around town is that it used to be a meth lab. (which i believe because there is a strange smell and i've been sick since I moved in; and we go through so much air freshener) Anyway we decided that it was time to move.(by the way this is all over the course of 1 day) So I start looking for houses. I walk in the room and he puts the phone down suddenly. I call him out in a joking way. Later, after checking the phone, I learn that its his sister. Anyway, I walk past him and grab the laptop. He's like, "What are you doing?" I tell him, "The same thing, looking for a house". He gets snappy and says "Why do you think that we can just up and leave our home like that? Do you know that its not a simple thing to just buy a house? You can't just decide that you don't want......." He is like dr. jekyll and ms hyde. I feel that I cannot compete with this type of stupidity. He does exactly what his mommy and sister tell him to do, no matter how stupid the reasoning is. I am not in control of my marriage and i cannot allow my life to be dictated by a 3rd party (even if they didn't hate my guts). I was taken by suprise....before we got married he kept them away. I dont' want to be a quitter....I just cannot compete. But the funny thing is, he is totally intimidated by my family and I keep them far far away...barely even talk to them on the phone. Anyway, am I deluding myself into thinking that this could possibly work?
By chay 14 years ago :: Marriage
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