Should I let him move with me?

I am doing a PhD and have been offered an opportunity to do this in a city that is an hour away from where I live just now. This is not an opportunity to turn down - it is more secure, better money and the qualification would come from a more prestigious university. Plus I would be working with people that I admire greatly.

My partner was very supportive when I told him this - he plans on finding a job nearby and moving with me. The problem is that I am not sure I want him to. I love him and we do currently live together but the lease on our flat is finishing soon. I don't think he should leave a company that he has been with for a long time and has a good salary with just to be with me - I think he would resent me for it eventually. In addition to this, starting out in a new town where we do not know anyone is always difficult and would put a lot of pressure on our relationship. My proposal is that he stays where he is, I go to the new place and for the first few months we commute and see each other on our days off and see how things go. We should at least wait until he gets a decent job offer - not just take whatever he can get even if it means a lower pay grade/demotion etc.

I do not think that some time apart would hurt at all - if we are meant to be together then we will not let this split us up. It may even make our relationship stronger. He is taking my point of view the wrong way and thinks that I am not as committed as he is. I think that if a relationship is built to last, then it will stand any test (not that this is a massive test - we would only be living an hours drive apart!!)
What do you guys think?
By Mar23 12 years ago :: Dating
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