How do you hang around a mother who is negative all the time? I assist her - she can't drive far from home.

My mom is very miserable because my dad is bed ridden and very depressed and miserable due to his low grade discomfort due to multi medical conditions, but none of it is life threatening. He used to take care of her every whim, and now she must fend for him. Since she has cataracts and driving anxiety, she only drives about 2 miles from home, so I feel obligated to assist her. We cannot afford someone to help her.

The problem is that she is so negative. I try to have patience since I know she takes care of a miserable, sick husband, my dad and it is a horrible existence. He cannot have an aid since he is abusive. If she puts him in a retirement home, all her money will be gone.

She will lash out at me if she feels slightly provoked and will never give me the benefit of the doubt. She treats my husband and me like we are criminals, so she doesn't trust anything we say. For a long time she would call me up everyday and expect me to take her on my errands. A few months ago, I told her that my life is my own and I do not have to obligate myself to her. I told her that I will certainly drive her to the mall or a specialty place, and pick her up, but I will no longer be tethered during these excursions.

When I allow her to accompany me on a fun day with my child, she will constantly point out the negative. Like she will complain about the crowds, the event, etc. She never looks at the glass half full. So, now I have begun to tell her that I no longer want to hear the negative. So, she tells me that I am being mean to her when I tell her these things. I think I might be too forceful when I sometimes say things like, I refuse to examine vomit. Can someone please suggest a kind, tactful and SHORT way I can tell her that I want her to shut up when she is being so negative? Thanks!
By scoopie 12 years ago :: General
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