Should I stay with a separated (but technically still married) guy I'm in love with?
I love Billy and he loves me, but I relationship hasn't been easy. I was single for a little over a year before we met. And MISERABLE about it. At 32, I was never married, no kids, slept alone every night. I just wanted to meet a great guy to build a future with. One day, I met a handsome man and from the first time our eyes met it was as though we were drawn to each other. He told me he was in a marriage he wanted out of, with two young kids. He just started the separation period, so there's a year before the divorce can be finalized. ( a little background - he got married 11 years ago, at the age of 19. She cheated on him first, then he cheated. They both made mistakes. He says he only stayed these last two years for the kids.) I thought, “WHOA, let me get outta this messy situation!†But even though I tried, I couldn't stop dating him. He explained the whole idea of “separation†to me and convinced me that I was not having an affair with a married man due to the legal red tape to getting a divorce. I am convinced his marriage was over before I met him, and I did not cause any woman heartache. We kept dating, and we fell in love. And now I imagine our future together.
Next year, my job will relocate me internationally. Billy said he would marry me (once the divorce is finalized) and travel with me. We could start a family together and he'd give me all I want. He's honorable, loving, and generous. And we seem to want the same things out of life. If we were to marry I'd be the bread-winner because he'd quit being a police officer, even though he loves It so that I can keep career. If we get married and he quits his job to travel with me (which is what I want) I'd be taking on a lot of his financial obligation to his kids, but I would be in love.
So, that's the back story - here's my dilemma: I want to have a family and get married. I really truly do! I love Billy. But he won't be legally divorced until this time next year. And that's a long time to wait for him to get sorted out of his situation. My friends say there's Single, married and divorced, and I should not be wasting a year loving a man who's still sorting out his status. Other friends say these things never work out. Should I be waiting? Has anyone else had a successful relationship with a separated man?
Next year, my job will relocate me internationally. Billy said he would marry me (once the divorce is finalized) and travel with me. We could start a family together and he'd give me all I want. He's honorable, loving, and generous. And we seem to want the same things out of life. If we were to marry I'd be the bread-winner because he'd quit being a police officer, even though he loves It so that I can keep career. If we get married and he quits his job to travel with me (which is what I want) I'd be taking on a lot of his financial obligation to his kids, but I would be in love.
So, that's the back story - here's my dilemma: I want to have a family and get married. I really truly do! I love Billy. But he won't be legally divorced until this time next year. And that's a long time to wait for him to get sorted out of his situation. My friends say there's Single, married and divorced, and I should not be wasting a year loving a man who's still sorting out his status. Other friends say these things never work out. Should I be waiting? Has anyone else had a successful relationship with a separated man?
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