High School Sweathearts. Do we play the field and risk losing an amazinthing or ignore stereotypes?
I dislike the term 'high school sweethearts', but it's fitting for this I guess. :) My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. We started dating when we were 17 and were friends for a while before that. I never expected to be with him this long as I thought we were just having a wild high school romance before going away to college (I'm now done with college as well), but we definitely found something long-lasting and created a really special bond. He's different than any man I ever dated (which obviously is not too many and not too serious...maybe about 5 other people...because we've been together since 17) in that since the beginning all he wanted was to find someone to grow up with with and love, be in long term relationship, and he was exceptionally mature for his age. All of that combined with the fact that he is kind, funny, gorgeous, loving, and just an all around great man...he's pretty much everything that matters to me in a person. We have so much fun together, can talk about anything, and really are best friends. I never wonder how he feels about me because he tells me all the time, he isn't afraid to communicate or be sensitive, and he knows what he wants out of life and is loyal, trustworthy and dedicated. We work through problems together and are suprisingly mature for our age (so everyone tells us). He pretty much is perfect for me, treats me really well, will do anything for me, and loves my family...everything that I've ever looked for (even though at 17 I didn't know I wanted half of these qualities in a man). Even when I find another quality about myself that I would like in a partner, I realize he has those qualities too, so we have been growing together nicely and now that we are adults, our minds and hearts are still connected and going in the same direction, which to me, is lucky since I was never one to believe that people could meet in high school and fall in love and be in a successful relationship forever.
We are very serious, talk about marriage all the time, futures, kids, where we would live, etc. so we've pretty much been planning our lives together since we were 21..so for about 2 - 3 years we've been really serious.
Now, here is the tough part: He has never been with anybody else...he casually dated when we were young but not really (which is suprising because he was so much better at relationships than I ever was, even though I had "experience" with it in school). trust me, I know that we are young, but I'm also not one to do what others thinks is right just because it's practical. I know he would never cheat one me, but I can't help but feel that as a man, he will one day regret his decision not to see anyone else since we've been together so long and so young. And maybe I will regret not sleeping with anyone else in my younger years if down the road things don't work out between us, but I can't forsee that happening at this point and he says he doesn't care about sleeping with other women, he's always been a relationship person and he's always been sure of what he wants.
Anyway, I dont want to date other people and lose him, yet I'm not naive and know that since we are so young and were so young when we got together, that we may grow seriously apart and fall apart. I've never believed in the 'meeting your soul mate in highschool' and used to laugh at girls who would say 'oh i'm going to marry my boyfriend one day' as they sat in class feeding each other french fries and making fun of other people. I would think, okay, please, you don't even know who you are or who this guy really is and you're immature as hellll. I've always been practical, rational, and realistic. My boyfriend had to work hard to get me into a relationship as I was more of a free spirit but now I'm totally content with being with him. I didn't believe in marriage or even loving one person your whole life until I was dating him for a while and realized that I wanted those things. I can't say for sure that I won't ever want to be with anyone else, but I really don't think so as I love him and want to spend my life with him, granted that we continue to make each other happy, grow in the same direction, and are truly compatible in the long term.
Does anyone have experience with this? His parents were 'high school sweethearts' and are still happy and together. Do you think we should play the field before thinking about getting married or moving in together in the future (I dont want to be married until late 20's so that's years from now - but we are planning on moving in together next year and the move would be to another state)? Or do you think that playing the field just because people say we should is stupid, because then we risk losing each other? I honestly don't want him seeing other people and I know he feels the same about me but EVERYONE keeps telling us we should, even though we're not engaged or anything, but friends and family know we are serious! My family loves him, but my mom doesn't want me to make the same mistake she did when she married my dad at 20 and had a terrible marriage (but my dad was a bad boy and an alcoholic, so that's totally different and I'd never get married this young - I'm much more realistic and career oriented). Even my friend keeps hinting whenever me and my boyfriend have a disagreement, that seeing other people would make things better and ensure we are right for each other...even if the disagreement is just over something small and normal for couples, not threatening to our relationship...and she has not really had a serious relationship ever just to throw that in. I think she may just want me back all to herself so that we can go out and meet guys together, but that's just not my scene. Do I listen to these other people who are mainly paranoid, though do have good points, and risk losing the best thing I ever had? I know if I sleep with someone else, he will be devastated and things wouldn't be the same and I'm not even interested in sleeping with anyone else at the moment but people 'assure' us that in the future, we will regret it. Now, they're making me paranoid, even though all I want is him!
I'm kinda scared to read the comments honestly because some people can be so harsh, but I just want honest, unbiased opinions because my friends have other motives i.e. they want to see me more and want me to party and be single and get drunk and dance with guys with them, which again, is just not my scene.
We are very serious, talk about marriage all the time, futures, kids, where we would live, etc. so we've pretty much been planning our lives together since we were 21..so for about 2 - 3 years we've been really serious.
Now, here is the tough part: He has never been with anybody else...he casually dated when we were young but not really (which is suprising because he was so much better at relationships than I ever was, even though I had "experience" with it in school). trust me, I know that we are young, but I'm also not one to do what others thinks is right just because it's practical. I know he would never cheat one me, but I can't help but feel that as a man, he will one day regret his decision not to see anyone else since we've been together so long and so young. And maybe I will regret not sleeping with anyone else in my younger years if down the road things don't work out between us, but I can't forsee that happening at this point and he says he doesn't care about sleeping with other women, he's always been a relationship person and he's always been sure of what he wants.
Anyway, I dont want to date other people and lose him, yet I'm not naive and know that since we are so young and were so young when we got together, that we may grow seriously apart and fall apart. I've never believed in the 'meeting your soul mate in highschool' and used to laugh at girls who would say 'oh i'm going to marry my boyfriend one day' as they sat in class feeding each other french fries and making fun of other people. I would think, okay, please, you don't even know who you are or who this guy really is and you're immature as hellll. I've always been practical, rational, and realistic. My boyfriend had to work hard to get me into a relationship as I was more of a free spirit but now I'm totally content with being with him. I didn't believe in marriage or even loving one person your whole life until I was dating him for a while and realized that I wanted those things. I can't say for sure that I won't ever want to be with anyone else, but I really don't think so as I love him and want to spend my life with him, granted that we continue to make each other happy, grow in the same direction, and are truly compatible in the long term.
Does anyone have experience with this? His parents were 'high school sweethearts' and are still happy and together. Do you think we should play the field before thinking about getting married or moving in together in the future (I dont want to be married until late 20's so that's years from now - but we are planning on moving in together next year and the move would be to another state)? Or do you think that playing the field just because people say we should is stupid, because then we risk losing each other? I honestly don't want him seeing other people and I know he feels the same about me but EVERYONE keeps telling us we should, even though we're not engaged or anything, but friends and family know we are serious! My family loves him, but my mom doesn't want me to make the same mistake she did when she married my dad at 20 and had a terrible marriage (but my dad was a bad boy and an alcoholic, so that's totally different and I'd never get married this young - I'm much more realistic and career oriented). Even my friend keeps hinting whenever me and my boyfriend have a disagreement, that seeing other people would make things better and ensure we are right for each other...even if the disagreement is just over something small and normal for couples, not threatening to our relationship...and she has not really had a serious relationship ever just to throw that in. I think she may just want me back all to herself so that we can go out and meet guys together, but that's just not my scene. Do I listen to these other people who are mainly paranoid, though do have good points, and risk losing the best thing I ever had? I know if I sleep with someone else, he will be devastated and things wouldn't be the same and I'm not even interested in sleeping with anyone else at the moment but people 'assure' us that in the future, we will regret it. Now, they're making me paranoid, even though all I want is him!
I'm kinda scared to read the comments honestly because some people can be so harsh, but I just want honest, unbiased opinions because my friends have other motives i.e. they want to see me more and want me to party and be single and get drunk and dance with guys with them, which again, is just not my scene.
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