My Mom and husband dont get along and when my dad died he did not hug her and tell her how sorry he is

after the service we all went to eat dinner out and he was up set because we don't have much money and my mom paid, my son and daughter in law said thankyou to her and I said thank you, but not my husband he left early to smoke a cig. I can't talk to my husband about it and I dont want to bring it up with my mom. sometimes I feel like I'm married to both. my husband it not a bad guy he offer to do anything when my dad was dieing but now my mom is going around telling everyone about his bad manners, I know she's still grieving, we all are. We also lost my sister in law to cancer 48years old in the same week. I right in the middle and very upset!