How to forget?

I met this guy sometime ago at work, and we both immensely liked each other. We would meet every day and talk at length during the lunch breaks and after work too while having some coffee. It felt we were friends since ever. He told me about himself, about his past where his girl friend had ditched him and asked me so many questions about my life.
I counted on him as a great friend. Then suddenly he began detaching. He would skip seeing me during lunch, just greet me if we came face to face and would show me as if he is extremely busy but would carry on being social and friendly to others. I asked him about this and he told me he preferred completing his tasks even during lunch breaks.
He had become quite rude, would give curt answers whenever I tried talking to him. For many days it remained the same and I realized that for me, he had become more than a friend, I had feelings for him.
After much thinking what I could sense was that he also had feelings for me but he was afraid of his past experience that's why he decided to stay away from me. I thought if I will confess it to him, he will also get the confidence to accept how he felt and everything would be fine.
One day, I confronted him after working hours and told him about my feelings. He was taken aback and then accepted that he was also falling for me but decided to avoid me because he didn't wish to get a disappointment like his past. It was like everything was now solved and we could think of our future. Things ended on a happy note that day.
However the very next day, he completely denied his feelings and said he never wanted a relationship and wouldn't go for one until he can't control his feelings for someone.
It was a big shock for me and I went through a trauma. I felt so bad; I began skipping my meals, lost my focus at work, suffered from depression.
After a few days I again confronted him and told him what I was going through. I even asked him that if he was never interested in a relationship, why at first he took so much interest in me became such good friend and then ran away from me? He could always remain my friend instead.
To this, he blamed me that he could sense that I was interested in him that's why he decided to cut off from me.
Since that day, it's all over. We do not talk. He is normal, very friendly with everyone else but he ignores me like I don't even exist.
I do the same. I was able to get my normal self back because I never want him to see that inside I'm sad.
But inside, I am sad. I do not show it but I feel it every moment. I feel bad and feel cheated. I want to forget him like he never was there but I fail. I miss our good times. When I see him being over-friendly with other girls, I feel bad and I don't want to feel bad.
I've to see him every day, how can I forget every memory related to him even though I so much want to? How do I do it when I so much want him to come back? When my heart says that he loves me and will come back? Although my mind says that I shouldn't bother about him anymore.
How to forget what happened? How to forget him? Quitting my job is not a solution. What should I do then?
By GirlNextDoor 11 years ago :: Bitter Ex
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