Should I stay or should I go?

Ok. So I've been with my husband for 15 years, married for 9 years. We got married when we were both 23, so kids was never something we discussed in detail. It was always, 'wait until we're 30.' So we turn 30, and all our family and friends start their families. Up until this time, my marriage was near perfect. My husband said he was not ready and to wait 6 months. Six months pass and he's still not ready. Wait another 6 months. In the meantime, his sister, her husband and their 2 young kids tell us they bought a house around the corner. I never had close cousins when I was a kid, so this is something I want. My husband says no. When I list all the advantages about shared child care with is sister, he tells me, 'that's what Mother's Group is for.' Six months later, his sister tells us she's pregnant with her third. Again, I beg to start trying. He says no, he is still not ready. It's always another 6 months away. We were supposed to start trying at the end of 2010, but he wasn't ready. Then in June last year, the condom we were using broke. I was pretty happy with the situation, but my husband forced me to take the morning-after pill. When I initially refused, he told me to 'keep the f away from' him, and not to come near him. How can I bring a child up with that kind of attitude at it's conception? So I took the pill and he promised me (we shook hands and everything) that we would start trying in October 2011. So I went to the doctor's, got checked out, told him the results, started taking pre-pregnancy vitamins and even booked a holiday for the start of December, telling him that while I hoped to be pregnant when we went on the holiday, if I wasn't, we could have fun trying! Two weeks before D-Day, I asked my husband if he was ready. He said no, he needed another 3-6 months. In discussions, he has told me he doesn't feel old enough (he is 33) and that he likes his life the way it is. I've tried to get him to counselling, but he is not interested. For me, the issue now is not about children, but about how can he treat me this way?
Other issue he has, is that women and men have their own roles at home and that he wants thanks when he does one of my jobs for me, such as sweeping the floor. This has only been an issue since I started asking about children. At this stage, I should tell you that we both work full time. He is an accountant and I am a lawyer. I am now nearly 33 and know that I have to make a decision. We've been separated for one month now, and he blames it all on me, seeing as though I'm the one who moved out.
Any advice out there?
By missswis29 9 years ago :: Marriage
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