Should I keep this from my boyfriend?

There should be an "in laws" category! Sheesh!
Basically, I've been with my boyfriend for 6-7 years. We're very close, share everything, and if it were anything else I would have already told him in a heart beat. BUT... this could really hurt him.

We have both known for a long time that his dad cheats on his mom. Heck, his MOM knows that, or at least she has found out about it before. There were times in the past when he essentially had another apartment with another woman, but his wife (my boyfriends mom) found out and there was a huge fight, and he promised never to do it again. There have also been flings but same "I'll never do it again" promise. My boyfriend doesn't know the details because both of his folks get hugely defensive if it's ever brought up, and they act totally delusional as if it never happened. One time a friend of hers told her that she was being cheated on, and she cut off the friend instead of the husband! They still curl up on the couch at home all happy family style too, and act as if it's totally normal when he's just away from home "on business" for a week at a time.

Ok, cool. We can deal with that. It's their business if they chose to lie to themselves and/or each other.

But for awhile now (4 or so years) we've half known that there's definitely at least 1 other woman and never interfered or mentioned it.

Recently, someone who assumed I knew all about it (it's not a big town!) asked me if I thought their (the parent's) "arrangement" was weird considering he lived with another woman and had kid/s with her!!!!!! The person who mentioned this assumed I knew who she was "because she's around all the time" but I can't figure it out, so I don't have any details.

Now, I KNOW that my partner doesn't know this much. And because it's such a small town, people know that it's his dad so obviously although its common knowledge to other people, no one ever mentioned it to us before!!
But I have no idea if he wants to know :( He isn't on great terms with his folks, although he tries so hard to be they treat him like dirt. Not surprising considering how they treat each other. But he feels very upset and defensive about his dad cheating, and for the past year or so doesn't like to talk about it at all. I think he feels angry, embarassed and guilty somehow, but he wont talk about it and I try not to push.

I don't know whether to tell him this, or keep it from him. I don't know if he'll want to know, or resent me for it. I don't know if he already knows (I don't think he does) or what. If it was me, I'd want to know that I had siblings. But he's very different from me! And it might just make him angrier at his mom and dad for acting like everything is fine. And if they're ok with their "arrangement" who am I to rock the boat, and get between their son and them?

Ok, that last part was cowardly! But I just don't know what to do :( I can't emphasise enough how much this already upsets him, and I don't know whether he'd prefer to stay delusional (or at least in the dark) like his mom. Ahhh! Help!
By StephBear 12 years ago :: Dating
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