How should I feel about my wife saying I’ve never been her best friend?

A couple of years ago my wife and I were about to embark on an expatriate assignment in Russia. She was thrilled with the idea but I was a bit nervous about life there and especially how she would deal with the cultural change and leaving her career. We were having a great day and I expressed to her my nervousness and that I was happy to be experiencing it with my best friend. She smirked and said “you are not my best friend, my best friend is [name], she’s always been my best friend”. I was shocked and heartbroken because my view of marriage was a life long commitment to the most important person in your life. I have NEVER stood in the way of her social life and I realize marriages go through ups and downs. I put it aside because I knew that probably meant I needed to work on the marriage and hopefully convince her I was the most important person in her life. Well after several years of compromise (paying more attention to her, changing some of my behaviors, supporting her social life and world trips that were adventuress without me) things seem to be trending worse. These days I feel it in our one sided sex life (we now have a monthly quota), 1-2 times a week out with married and single friends, constant (and I mean constant) texting and facebooking regardless if it is a date night or not. The other night we fought and she told me I need to find a friend to fill the need I have. I have asked multiple times if she wants a divorce and to find someone else but she says no. I truly love her don’t want that but would be willing to let her go if it would make her happy.


I am ready to give up because i am exhausted trying. I guess I’d like to know if I am justified in my feelings. I know I might have smothered her but it has been years of feeling that she simply wants me for the financial and stability benefits and does not view a husband as the most important person in her life.

By Blueeyedguy28 13 days ago :: Marriage
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