I want to marry some day...he says he doesnt believe in marriage. He is good to me...what do i do?

I am 41, he is 48. I was married 14 years, divorced 3 yrs ago. i have a 12 yr old son with me half time. bf is 48, bachelor most of his life, married once for 3 years, bad experience, 13 years ago. i am more traditional and think that you are all in or all out. he is more independent. i am sure he is faithful, and he is giving and good to me. we have dated off and on for almost 3 years. until the last month, he was not emotional and didnt express his feelings for me verbally. from the beginning i knew he didnt ever want to marry again, for his own reasons...finances, taxes, doesnt want to be responsible for another person, etc. at least this is what he says. he says he wouldnt marry anyone, it's not me. he is as committed as if we were married, and i lived with him for 6 months but the logistics of my son and school, etc was difficult as we llive over an hour away. in these difficult financial times, he is willing to help me out but is also very careful with his money. he makes a lot, i dont currently. i made a lot when we met but as a realtor, my business is slow. so, i am a very loving, giving person, very affectionate, expressive. sex is great, and he says he is a very happy man in all ways. he doesnt want to change anything. i feel like of course...he has everything he wants how he wants it...seperate homes, no responsibility, i take care of my son, we get together and spend time when i dont have my son, always at his house, which is nicer. i leave my dog at home and have the neighbor watch him. but he just recently began acting like i wish he always had. he says i love you, is affectionate and other things. he used to not do what i wanted and now we are doing things i want to do. he also spends half his time out of state on business. i feel like he is doing all that he is capable at this point, but i feel like i deserve to have a marriage, too, at some point. i love him and want to be with him but he cant and wont sell his house, move an hour away to where my son goes to school, and if i live with him i cant have my dog. and if i live with him i can only have my son on weekends because i dont want to uproot him with school and friends. logistically it doesnt make sense for either of us to make a move. do we continue how we are until my son is older? he doesnt like pets. i can be emotionally too sensitive and worry too much. he is very patient with me. but sometimes it is too much for him and he just checks out for a while, or even days until i act normal again. this is frustrating. any advice?
By havefaithone 15 years ago :: Dating
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