My ex won't go away and Im stressing myself out

I broke up with my ex the beginning of May over some insensitve things he said. Since then he's already seeing other people (he didn't even wait two weeks after the break up). I've now accepeted that because I was the one to end it and eventually saw that it was the best thing to end the relationship because I didn't want to play house anymore and he wasn't willing to take the relationship to the next level.

Anyway unfortunately our lease on the apartment isn't up til December. The owners know the situation and are not willing to let us out of the lease or move into seperate apartments. On top of that I am now 7 months pregnant and forced to stay. I don't want to have a broken lease because the baby and I will need my good name in order to find somewhere else to live and who knows in the future.

I've suspected that my ex's current relationship started before our break up because this woman already claims him as her boyfriend (again only two weeks after the break up). He and I argued and I told him why not go stay with her, "I'm sure she'd rather you stay with her than share a roof with me." He still hadn't left. I'm over him cause I know I deserve better.

The problem now is that he's not showing much in the baby or its future. I have aleeady started buying and collecting clothes, brought a crib, I have a stroller and swing set stored at someone else's home. From what I've seen he's bought a PS3, some $35-$45 video games, came back to tell me that he and a friend went to Lousiana for a few days (we live in East Texas). He hasn't been with me to a doctor's appt since I was 17 weeks, I'm now 28 weeks. He rarely even asks about the appts.

Now the real problem, I tend to worry about alot of things especially now that I'm pregnant and before the pregnancy my health was nowhere near its best. I was always afraid that something would happen to me but felt assured that no matter what the baby would have him but now I don't trust him to take care of himself let alone a baby. He's not the type to stay at home. He likes to be out with his friends and go to bars or just get up and go whenever. I was to but this past year with my health and the baby I have become more of a homebody and focused on the future rather than now.

Because of the stress I have been eating right, sometimes I won't realize that I hadn't eaten til I see someone else eat. I don't do this on purpose. I get constant, painful cramps, as if I was on my period, even if I do eat. Well I went to the dr yesterday and it was pointed out to me that the baby is now underweight compared to my past visits. The dr told me I need to let go of whatever is bothering me and focus on my baby and that I'm threatening myself into pre-term labor which isn't good for the baby or myself. He hasn't even called to see how the appt went and I don't want to get into another fight so I didn't call him.

I try not to let all this bother me but can't help it and can't see any other way to end the stress for the baby. Whether he is there or not I worry whether I can take care of the baby by myself physically and financially. I worry that the baby will have to suffer from anymistakes I make but now I see she already is and I don't know how to change that.
By nettie 15 years ago :: Bitter Ex
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