How can I trust my own judgement with anything anymore?

I have been with my husband for 16 years.
I have always been faithful and loyal and done the best I can for my family.
We have one daughter who is now 15 years old and a lovely girl.
Right from the time I became pregnant with her he did not want me to go ahead with the pregnancy but I did because I believed in my heart it was the right thing to do.
I have no regrets in having her and I have put her first all her life.
I am not the best parent and I have made many mistakes but I love her and only want to do what is best for her.
My husband has been a good provider, he does not smoke or drink but he has never really had any time for us.
He is a member of a club and he has made that club and the running of it his main priority all the years we have been together.
He has never been there for either of us emotionally.
Now my daughter has a boyfriend and my husband has became paranoid big time.
He reads her phone messages and also watches her when she is on msn constantly asking her who she is talking to and what they are talking about.
When he is here and that is not often, he is totally obsessed with control.
He will moan at her for the way she sits in a chair, for making a noise while eating, for having the p.c. sound up too loud and its not that loud.
He will pretty much be on her tail for anything she does and if he is in the mood for messing about and she can not be bothered she will tell him but he goes mad and rants on and on and on.
It has got to the point now that I can't go out and if I do I have to be home before her dad gets home so I can keep the peace.
I have tried my best to talk to him and he seems to listen at the time but by the next day its right back where it started.
I am constantly told to shut up when I say something he doesnt like to hear.
My husband is rarely home earlier than 12.00 but he came home early last night so he could check up on our daughter.
Lsst night I told her to be home by 9.00 p.m. and she was, but stood outside with her boyfriend and was giving him a hug.
Her dad seen her so he went out with all of them and basically humiliated her by shouting at her.
I love my husband but after all this time trying to make things better, they just seem to be getting worse.
My daughter is stressing out at school and pretty much all the time when she knows dad will be here.
She just sits and takes it from him all the time and says nothing but now and again she explodes and tells him how much he is stressing her but he wont listen to any of us.
I was first married when I was 17 and that was a pure hell full of mental abuse and my son suffered grately because of it and I do not want the same to happen to my daughter.
I left home when I was 16 due to how my step dad used to treat me mentally so I do not want history to repeat its self with my daughter.
I am just so confused and lost and just do not know what to do anymore.
Husband it threatening to leave now and maybe it would be the best thing that could happen under the circumstances because it is like being tortured mentally every day and I never know when it is actually going to happen.
It really is like walking on egg shells when he is home.

By meggan39 15 years ago :: Marriage
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