Let this friendship go?
THIS IS A LONG ONE!!
I have known Gretchen since 9th grade. We were good friends and through the years although we didn't keep in super touch, we always played catch up here and there. She was always a phone call away. Her father passed away last august after suffering for some time. He happend to pass away the day before I was leaving for a well deserved vacation and i spent the entire day before i left with her. I had invested a lot of money, and had no time left from my job to change the dates, and told her how sorry I was for missing the funeral.
It just so happend I got engaged while i was on my trip, and when i came back I did not make a big deal out of it, becuase I wanted to focus on her loss. I finally told her and she was very happy for me. She even said she'd love to help me plan the wedding to get her mind off of her loss, and to honor her father. Her father was a wedding planner and florist.
I was thrilled.
We spent the next 3 months hanging out more than ever, visiting sites, picking out colors, flowers etc. She even gave me access to her fathers warehouse to help me save money (I was trying to do it all myself to save cash).
Then...one day she disappeared. Did not return texts, calls, emails. The show must go on...so I went on with out her. She did not respond to bachlorette emails, shower invites, or wedding invites.
ANYWAYS, she shows up a week before the wedding asking if she can still come. I asked her where she had gone and she had told me she was too busy to respond to emails, invitations etc. I told her how sad i was she left me high and dry and i had to do everything myself without the help she promise.
She then told me that it was harder than she thought it would be to help me plan a wedding and it made her miss her father more. She got so angry when i told her it was lack of communication on her part, and she hurt me too by leaving me. I told her the final count was given to the caterer and she was welcome to attend the church.
She then told me: (and i quote) "Regardless you never called to see how i was coping. you were too busy with your wedding and happiness that you didnt want to be bothered with me. I'll make sure when i lose my mom to run it by your schedule"
Terrible. Just terrible.
My question: am i wrong for not letting her come to the wedding?
I have known Gretchen since 9th grade. We were good friends and through the years although we didn't keep in super touch, we always played catch up here and there. She was always a phone call away. Her father passed away last august after suffering for some time. He happend to pass away the day before I was leaving for a well deserved vacation and i spent the entire day before i left with her. I had invested a lot of money, and had no time left from my job to change the dates, and told her how sorry I was for missing the funeral.
It just so happend I got engaged while i was on my trip, and when i came back I did not make a big deal out of it, becuase I wanted to focus on her loss. I finally told her and she was very happy for me. She even said she'd love to help me plan the wedding to get her mind off of her loss, and to honor her father. Her father was a wedding planner and florist.
I was thrilled.
We spent the next 3 months hanging out more than ever, visiting sites, picking out colors, flowers etc. She even gave me access to her fathers warehouse to help me save money (I was trying to do it all myself to save cash).
Then...one day she disappeared. Did not return texts, calls, emails. The show must go on...so I went on with out her. She did not respond to bachlorette emails, shower invites, or wedding invites.
ANYWAYS, she shows up a week before the wedding asking if she can still come. I asked her where she had gone and she had told me she was too busy to respond to emails, invitations etc. I told her how sad i was she left me high and dry and i had to do everything myself without the help she promise.
She then told me that it was harder than she thought it would be to help me plan a wedding and it made her miss her father more. She got so angry when i told her it was lack of communication on her part, and she hurt me too by leaving me. I told her the final count was given to the caterer and she was welcome to attend the church.
She then told me: (and i quote) "Regardless you never called to see how i was coping. you were too busy with your wedding and happiness that you didnt want to be bothered with me. I'll make sure when i lose my mom to run it by your schedule"
Terrible. Just terrible.
My question: am i wrong for not letting her come to the wedding?
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