Should your friends push your buttons?
A Friend of my husband and I's that we've had since high school (a long time ago) was planning on coming to stay with us for an extended, undecided amount of time. We always have these arguments though. Arguments that begin like this
Me: Hey remember when we were at X and you said "Y"?
Her: I never said that? why do you have to make things up?
Me: yes you did, don't you remember?
Her: you just make things up all the time.
Rather than saying "I don't remember that", or "I don't think that's what happened", she just basically calls me a liar. My husband says she just does this to make me upset, but if this is true, it just makes me more upset! So last night (over the internet) we get in this same argument, and she realizes I'm quite irate, and basically says "ok I'm just messing with you" , but she would never say that in front of people to my face, in public it's always a never ending chorus of "you just make things up all the time"
Long story longer I told her "If you think I'm just a liar than I don't need you to be my friend anymore, and if you're doing this just to piss me off, then don't get all surprised when I'm pissed, and just knock it off".
Then she basically said she wasn't going to come out, and that I gave her an irrational ultimatum.
At this point I am indifferent as to wether or not she comes out. My husband says, although it is her fault for pushing my buttons, I make it worse by taking the bait and overreacting. I'm tired of being called a liar to my face and in front of my friends, but I've tried to talk to her and we get no where. Should I wait for her to call me? I get the feeling I'll never get an apology, but i don't want to lose my friend.
Me: Hey remember when we were at X and you said "Y"?
Her: I never said that? why do you have to make things up?
Me: yes you did, don't you remember?
Her: you just make things up all the time.
Rather than saying "I don't remember that", or "I don't think that's what happened", she just basically calls me a liar. My husband says she just does this to make me upset, but if this is true, it just makes me more upset! So last night (over the internet) we get in this same argument, and she realizes I'm quite irate, and basically says "ok I'm just messing with you" , but she would never say that in front of people to my face, in public it's always a never ending chorus of "you just make things up all the time"
Long story longer I told her "If you think I'm just a liar than I don't need you to be my friend anymore, and if you're doing this just to piss me off, then don't get all surprised when I'm pissed, and just knock it off".
Then she basically said she wasn't going to come out, and that I gave her an irrational ultimatum.
At this point I am indifferent as to wether or not she comes out. My husband says, although it is her fault for pushing my buttons, I make it worse by taking the bait and overreacting. I'm tired of being called a liar to my face and in front of my friends, but I've tried to talk to her and we get no where. Should I wait for her to call me? I get the feeling I'll never get an apology, but i don't want to lose my friend.
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