Reuniting with a past love?
When I was 16, during the summer, I went swimming on a regular basis at the local outdoor pool. I met this really nice girl (her name was Sharon) and we had a friendship going by the time summer was slowly coming to an end. Actually, I had a very serious crush on her.
She seemed genuinely interested in me and I did even propose we go out together. She said she'd think about it. I left her my phone number, but she never called back. In the fall, I went and knocked on the door where she lived, but both times I was told by her brothers and sisters she was out babysitting. I left my phone number and again, she never called (although, I don't know if she got the message that I had come knocking at the door).
I revisited the pool a few times the following summer (less frequently because I had a summer job) and she never showed up, making for the longest and saddest summer of my life.
Being a reasonable and sane person. I took it that this wasn't going anywhere and moved on. Fortunate circumstances made it that I met another woman and married her. We had two children from this union and have been married almost 20 years. Our relationship is excellent and I see myself married, as I promised, until death do us part, having been faithful and true to her all these years and will continue to be so forever.
However, from time to time, a dream will poison my very existence because it will make me think of that other girl. There is a part, a small part, of my heart that still cares deeply for her. At this stage in my life, I would not want to develop a loving relationship with her, but I would like to find her, see how she is doing and at least, have the small pleasure of her being my friend and knowing her life is fine.
My question then is this: Should I try to go and find her? And if I find her, should I try to make her a (small) part of my life? If the answer is No, what can I do to cure this part of my heart which feels somewhat wounded whenever I think or dream of her?
She seemed genuinely interested in me and I did even propose we go out together. She said she'd think about it. I left her my phone number, but she never called back. In the fall, I went and knocked on the door where she lived, but both times I was told by her brothers and sisters she was out babysitting. I left my phone number and again, she never called (although, I don't know if she got the message that I had come knocking at the door).
I revisited the pool a few times the following summer (less frequently because I had a summer job) and she never showed up, making for the longest and saddest summer of my life.
Being a reasonable and sane person. I took it that this wasn't going anywhere and moved on. Fortunate circumstances made it that I met another woman and married her. We had two children from this union and have been married almost 20 years. Our relationship is excellent and I see myself married, as I promised, until death do us part, having been faithful and true to her all these years and will continue to be so forever.
However, from time to time, a dream will poison my very existence because it will make me think of that other girl. There is a part, a small part, of my heart that still cares deeply for her. At this stage in my life, I would not want to develop a loving relationship with her, but I would like to find her, see how she is doing and at least, have the small pleasure of her being my friend and knowing her life is fine.
My question then is this: Should I try to go and find her? And if I find her, should I try to make her a (small) part of my life? If the answer is No, what can I do to cure this part of my heart which feels somewhat wounded whenever I think or dream of her?
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